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Writing Samples
Band 6

nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development
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When feeling sick, more people are unwilling to visit a hospital.
Instead
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, they tend to use alternative medicines or do other
treatments
Use synonyms
 by themselves. In my opinion,
this
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 is more a worrying phenomenon than a positive one. A growing number of individuals believe that many folk prescriptions can help deal with their illnesses, but it is still
doubt
Wrong verb form
doubted
show examples
 whether these methods are real or evident. When they desire to get a healthier body by adjusting their diet, they will probably become stronger after eating many herbs or drinking much medical liquor.
However
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, is
this
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 effect caused by these medicines or the comfort of their heart? No one can answer the question.
Besides
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, if the food keeps accumulating inside, some poisons will be produced, which may lead to chronic diseases.
Consequently
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, all of these are the risks of alternative
treatments
Use synonyms
. Some may argue that these cures can save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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time so that they do not need to line
in
Change preposition
up in
show examples
 the hospital, and
also
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this
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 can relieve some doctors’ pressure.
Hence
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, they are more likely to use other methods to heal themselves.
Nevertheless
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, most of the time these
treatments
Use synonyms
 are useless or even result in other impacts on people’s health. As told by the news sometimes, individuals go for a massage, hoping
this
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 can cure their colds, but badly get hurt in their spines. The cost they pay for these injuries is far more than that paid for visiting doctors.
Thus
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, they better go to the hospital to check and treat their sicknesses. In conclusion, because of the implicit effects and other risks brought by alternative medicines and
treatments
Use synonyms
, I consider people doing that to be more a curse than a blessing.
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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