Some people believe music plays an important role in society, while others think it is only a form of entertainment for individuals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #music #role #society #form #entertainment #individuals

It is thought by some

people

that

music

has a crucial part in society;

However

, others consider that it is just spent for entertainment purposes. In my opinion, I believe that pure

music

is always pleasing and brings benefits to both society and

culture

. I will discuss both sides throughout

this

essay.

Firstly

, it is undeniable that

music

links us to our

culture

and tradition.

For instance

, the folk songs sung by various great artists in their nations are on everyone's lips. The lyrics contain many things of their

culture

, which are alive today and passed from generation to generation.

Otherwise

, under the influence of western

culture

people

are gradually forgetting their roots.

Therefore

, thanks to those kinds of folk songs remind society of the

culture

and tradition in each lyric, so that we will never forget our roots.

On the other hand

music

also

a good source of entertainment.

Music

helps to cheer everyone up. Especially, when

people

come home after a long day working,

music

such

a great thing helping them to unwind. Another role of

music

is connecting

people

For instance

, when

people

go to a musical concert, they are with those

people

who share their musical tastes. Together, they feel the emotions that the

music

evokes due to its ability to make

people

feel connected. In conclusion,

although

in recent years

music

is mainly related to entertainment due to the connections and expressions.

However

, I believe

music

is tremendously important for nations since it allows us to understand former nations' history and

culture

Submitted by shinyucr3 on Fri Aug 19 2022

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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