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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
It is a truth that we can find that some
children
 pay too much
time
 on their
electironic
Correct your spelling
electronic
 devices. There are several reasons for
such
 phenomena and it is definitely a negative change if they spend the majority of their
time
 on mobile phones. The reasons for some
children
 having
such
 habits can be
Correct your spelling
discussed
disscussed
Correct your spelling
discussed
 in three parts.
Firstly
, new applications especially designed by those big video-
gameand
Correct your spelling
game and
 short-video companies make users got addicted easily as their original intentions for
such
Correct your spelling
software
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
 are to make people spend more
time
 on it in order to increase their income.
Secondly
,
children
 who dislike outdoor activities or have
introvert
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introverted
show examples
 characteristics have a higher possibility to kill
time
 by themselves, and convenient cell
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 can be easily chosen
nowaways
Correct your spelling
nowadays
now aways
.
Besides
 that, they can't realize the mental and physical
harmness
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harms
harmless
 that using smartphones for a long
time
 brings to them, so they just focus on it without any relaxation.
Thirdly
, lacking
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
supervising
Replace the word
supervision
show examples
 by teachers and parents is another main reason, some of them just ignore the importance of restricting
children
 on
this
. Using smartphones can be
Correct your spelling
beneficial
benefical
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beneficial
 for
children
 if they are led to use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
Correct your spelling
appropriate
appoprioate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
 way, but spending too much
time
 on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 is surely a negative issue. On the one hand, it's more like to have problems in
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 smartphone-addicted
children
. Apart from it,
such
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 may lead to a result that they will lose
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
 on study as learning is apparently less attractive for
children
 compared with electronic games. The most serious problem is that
such
hobby
Correct article usage
a hobby
show examples
 can make them sit on seats without enough movement, which is more likely to cause an obesity
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in the future. In conclusion, different people are responsible for
this
 issue, and paying hours on smartphones is definitely a negative development.
Submitted by jaye31415926 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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