In recent time cyberspace has link a significant number of people jointly while others opine that it is rather causing separation between families

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Introduction

In recent

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

cyberspace has

link

Wrong verb form

linked

show examples

a significant number of people jointly while others opine that it rather causing separation between societies.

Body paragraph 1

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

,essay

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I will examine both sides of the argument and give my opinion.

Body paragraph 2

To begin

Linking Words

with, the idea that hyperspace

has

Add the particle

tohas

show examples

lead

Wrong verb form

led

show examples

a set of people jointly can be due to the fact that it is easier and

convenient

Correct quantifier usage

more convenient

show examples

. While it took about at least one week to deliver letters of a temper in the past, current residents can now receive immediately vital messages in a few seconds. It is devoid of physical barriers

such

Linking Words

as poor roads, and traffic jams. Other major

risk

Change the wording

risks

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such

Linking Words

accident

Fix the agreement mistake

accidents

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and robbery associated with

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

are

Change the verb form

show examples

avoided.

For example

Linking Words

many people around the world today can see and interact with each other through video

call

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calls

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as if they are having a

face to face

Add a hyphen

face-to-face

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conversation at every moment.

Body paragraph 3

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the notion that

information

Correct article usage

the information

show examples

highway is causing division can be

base

Wrong verb form

based

show examples

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of personal communication. Most of the populace are in support that effective interaction is expressing thoughts and emotions through holding hands. Nowadays it is difficult for families to meet and crack jokes which is slowly tearing societies apart. Sometimes poor network and lack of data can make communication difficult for days. Cuddling and affection

Change the verb form

are

show examples

mostly

Replace the word

most

show examples

difficult to express on the internet.

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

a survey conducted by the marriage registerer department in Ghana emphasized that divorce rates are increasing due to

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of effective communication

as a result

Linking Words

of spending more time on the net.

Conclusion

In conclusion, while most

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

agree that cyberspace is causing more separation, I am of the extreme conviction that It has

link

Wrong verb form

linked

show examples

more cities.

yahayasonde2

Aug 20, 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

5.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

286 words

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In recent time cyberspace has link a significant number of people jointly while others opine that it is rather causing separation between families

The increase use of mobile phone and computers makes people lose the ability to communicate face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Due to increasing world demands for oil and gas energy, people need to look for new sources of energy in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages of locating these sources outweigh the disadvantages

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some parents choose to homeschool their children because they claim that it has a number of benefits. Others this that this educational method can cause a lot of problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.