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Band 4.5

People should look after their health for personal benefits, rather than a duty for a society. What extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #health #duty #society
It has been argued that
people
 today should care for their own personal
health
 purely to enjoy the personal benefits that are gained from having good
health
, rather than as a duty to others in their society.
Personally
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,Personally
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 I believe that
people
 should take good care of their
health
 not only to reap the associated benefits
,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
 as a way of helping to uplift the lives of the citizens within their own cities and countries. Many
people
 claim that the secret to a happy
life
 is through achieving and maintaining good
health
, and I
also
 stand by
this
 notion. When someone experiences good physical and mental
health
 they are able to enjoy their
life
 to the fullest. Good
health
 allows
people
 to pursue their hopes and dreams and enjoy human relationships with family and friends. Without good mental and physical
health
, these ideals are difficult to attain.
In addition
 to
this
, today,
people
 are suffering from mental and physical sickness and diseases more so than ever before.
This
, in turn, causes a heavy load on a country’s healthcare industry and causes large financial burdens to the country’s national budget, which comes at the cost of the
Add a hyphen
tax-paying
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tax paying
Add a hyphen
tax-paying
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 citizens. If
people
 were to look after their
health
 better, it would reduce
such
 financial burdens and the money could
then
 be spent on other services that would benefit the quality of
life
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society as a whole. In conclusion, I firmly believe that all
people
 should strive to achieve and maintain the highest levels of
health
 possible not only so that they can be happy and enjoy their own
life
, but
also
 so that they can contribute
towards
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toward
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 a more happy and healthy society around them.
Submitted by rlnambiar98 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • duty
  • well-being
  • burden
  • healthcare systems
  • productive
  • economy
  • example
  • empower
  • informed choices
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