IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

#criminals #re-offend #people #crimes #measures
Not all people learn from their past. In fact, some may even repeat what they have done before.
For instance
, many criminals still continue re-offending after being punished. The motivation for crimes
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 from different aspects of life. But one of the most important reasons is people’s awareness of their actions. Humans are the most selfish species among others on Earth. They would do anything for themselves even if it means they have to sacrifice others’ benefits. Though they might soon get punished by the law, it doesn’t mean they will stop committing crimes. They will learn from their previous arrests and potentially develop into a danger to the community.
In addition
, it is
also
 everyone’s attitude toward these people
that is
 another reason. To those who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 just finished serving their punishments, the feeling of being a part of the community is very necessary. It helps them stay positive and believe that they can manage to become a better person. Some luckily get to have
this
, but some do not, and eventually, they make mistakes again. As a matter of fact, crime will keep going on in our modern society. But as long as suitable measurements are taken, the number of crimes will decrease and our world will be peaceful day by day. So be kind and welcome everyone with a smile. It wouldn’t take much but it will mean so much more./
Submitted by ngoclamthieunang on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • recidivism
  • rehabilitation
  • reintegration
  • social stigma
  • vocational training
  • economic desperation
  • mental health support
  • institutionalization
  • peer influence
  • mentorship programs
  • crime cycle
  • societal inclusion
  • job readiness programs
  • re-offending
  • ex-offenders
What to do next:
Look at other essays: