IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with trade, health and education. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

#say #countries #trade #health #education
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With the arrival of
21st
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the 21st
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 century and
development
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the development
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 of technologies, as opposed to
past
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the past
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, nowadays, people have
ability
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the ability
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 to watch films through their
smartphones
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 and tablets while at home.
However
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, due to the fact that
traditional
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the traditional
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 way of watching films in a
cinema
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still
Add a missing verb
is still
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 alive, people have disputes about what method of viewing
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film
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films
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 is the best. From my point of view, using modern gadgets to watch
Add an article
a movie
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movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
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 is the finest approach. There are not only
smartphones
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 and tablets in our home,
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person
Add an article
a person
the person
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also
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 can use his TV or PC to see a
cinema
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. All those gadgets have
good
Add an article
a good
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quality
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of
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apply
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a
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apply
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screen
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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when
Correct word choice
where
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 no pixels can't be seen. It is not necessary to go to the
cinema
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toward
Change preposition
for
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better
Add an article
a better
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quality
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of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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picture, because,
human's
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human
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 eyes
does
Change the verb form
do
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 not see the divergence.
What's
Unnecessary verb
What
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 about the
sound
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? Approximately five years ago, new technology of 5D
sound
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 had been developed.
Thus
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, headphones with the 5D
sound
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 support could bring the same feelings as if the
person
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 was actually involved in the
film
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. Another point is that it is cheaper than going to the
cinema
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. Nowadays,
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person
Add an article
a person
the person
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 has a variety of choice
subscription
Fix the agreement mistake
subscriptions
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 to streaming services,
such
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 as Netflix, Yandex and IVI. One
month
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month's
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 subscription payment equals
to
Change preposition
apply
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one adult ticket to the
cinema
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.
Furthermore
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, with those services
person
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 will get an infinitive amount
Change preposition
of TV-shows
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TV-shows
Correct your spelling
TV shows
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 and movies to watch.
On the other hand
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,
cinema
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also
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 has its own advantages.
To begin
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 with, the excellent
quality
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 of the movie. Sitting in the chairs provides
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a huge
screen
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 in front of you, unlike
smartphones
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, which
screen
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 is one hundred
time
Change to a plural noun
times
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 smaller in size.
Moreover
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, the atmosphere of the
film
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also
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 increases in grade because of
speakers
Correct article usage
the speakers
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, which are placed all around the hall.
Add an article
The viewer
A viewer
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Viewer
Fix the agreement mistake
Viewers
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 can hear
sound
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 from his right, left, back and front, thereby enhancing immersion in the
film
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.
Besides
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,
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person
Add an article
a person
the person
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 has
an
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the
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 ability to bring and watch
the
Correct article usage
a
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 movie with his friends and the number is not limited. They can
also
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 immediately discuss the
film
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 after its ending. In conclusion, the
quality
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, atmosphere and the ability to watch with friends makes going to the
cinema
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 a good option.
However
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, from my perspective, using modern technologies and viewing via
smartphones
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 is the best, due to the cost, same
quality
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 of
sound
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 and
screen
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Mezun 2023 on

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