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Band 6.5

Some psychologist think that the best way to overcome the stress of everyday life is to spend a portion of the day doing absolutely nothing. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

#psychologist #stress #life #portion
In
this
 statement, we could discuss the problem that most people in real life have very stressful and disappointing experiences. And if we add some free time when we do absolutely nothing it will help us overcome these fears. I agree with the statement in almost everything. On the one hand, it really helps us become more polite, and chill and take some rest from
this
 busy existence. Because the biggest part of my family and the whole country at all, it's work. It's very painful. You can't be a good worker all the time. After you go home
not
Verb problem
don't
show examples
have some rest with your lovely person or do whatever you want. Onle for has some rest because if you don't you will die inside and outside of your body. Because your mental health
also
 should be good, in Slavic countries most people think that your soul can't be tired at all, only your body. Because of
this
, alcohol is very popular, it's the way to a free life
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when nothing bothers you. And it's very sad.
On the other hand
, a lot of free time and doing nothing could be addicting more than drugs. On my way, I met many good and smart men, who were lazy people who grew up and became nothing. But they had talent, they had all to become someone in
this
 world. It's
also
 sad.
To conclude
, if you want to feel the being, you should find the middle of the timework and sometimes do nothing to heal your soul.
Submitted by oleksandrrazancev64 on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance logical flow by connecting ideas more smoothly between paragraphs and within them. Transition words and phrases can be helpful to ensure the reader can follow the argument without getting lost.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific activities or practices that could be part of a healthy routine of doing 'nothing.'
task achievement
Clarify and explain ideas further to make them comprehensible and compelling. Sometimes the argument may appear somewhat vague or assume the reader’s knowledge of the context without proper explanation.
task achievement
The introduction clearly presents the topic and shows the essay's stance clearly, which helps set the stage for the reader to understand the position being taken.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay and provides a balanced view, reiterating the need for balance between work and rest.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • psychologist
  • overcome
  • stress
  • everyday life
  • engagement
  • meditation
  • mindfulness
  • rest
  • mental clarity
  • anxiety
  • digital distractions
  • mental reset
  • opponents
  • techniques
  • exercise
  • hobbies
  • well-rounded
  • economic factors
  • feasibility
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