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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Despite improvements in vehicle technology, there are still large numbers of road accidents. Explain some of the causes of these accidents, and suggest some measures that could be taken to address the problem.

#improvements #vehicle #technology #numbers #road #accidents #measures #address
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Despite improvements in vehicle technology, there are still large numbers of road
accidents
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. Explain some of the
causes
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 of these
accidents
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, and suggest some measures that could be taken to address the problem.
Although
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 technology has advanced in recent years, there are many road
accidents
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 in the world each day. There are several
causes
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 of these tragedies. Hopefully, we can do many things to overcome the problem. There are three main reasons why road
accidents
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 still occur. The most crucial cause of crashes is
drivers
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' sleepiness and tiredness. Lots of
drivers
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 prefer not to take a nap while they're tired.
Instead
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, they continue riding, and so many times, a disaster occurs.
Secondly
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, there are many low-quality
roads
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. Not meeting quality standards, these
roads
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 cause so many
accidents
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.
For instance
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, outdated asphalt
causes
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 brakes not to function properly, resulting in disasters. At
last
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, many people do not maintain their cars regularly. If a vehicle is not maintained well, it won't function appropriately.
As a result
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, it may cause
accidents
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. People and the government can do several things to prevent these disasters. In my opinion, we should mainly invest in informing and educating. Had
drivers
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 known tiredness is the main reason for
accidents
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, they would have been more cautious. Many things can be done for
this
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 purpose.
For instance
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, radio channels can encourage
drivers
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 to take a nap while they are exhausted.
Besides
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this
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 approach, improving the quality of
roads
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 is very important. The government should assign a meaningful budget for renewing the old asphalt, and all the
roads
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 should be checked regularly for quality. By these means, we can decrease the rate of
accidents
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 dramatically. To sum up, there are various
causes
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 of
accidents
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, in spite of advances in technology, and many approaches can be taken to overcome
this
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 phenomenon.
Submitted by Aynazabdiii on

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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