IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries, there is a growing trend of rural inhabitants moving to urban
areas
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, resulting in a decline in the
population
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 of the countryside. In my opinion,
this
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 is a negative
development
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 as it leads to environmental degradation in
cities
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 and undermines the economic potential of rural
areas
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, particularly in terms of
tourism
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.
Firstly
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, the mass migration from rural
areas
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 to
cities
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 disrupts the balanced distribution of the
population
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 across the country. Urban
areas
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 become overcrowded, leading to increased pressure on public infrastructure
such
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 as transportation, healthcare, and education.
This
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population
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 surge
also
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 intensifies pollution, as the demand for resources
such
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 as water, energy, and food rises, leading to greater waste production and environmental harm.
For instance
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,
cities
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 often face higher levels of air and water pollution,
as well as
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 waste management challenges,
due to
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 the concentration of people.
Secondly
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, the decline in rural populations negatively impacts local economies, particularly those dependent on agriculture and
tourism
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. As people leave these
areas
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, businesses struggle to survive, and investment in infrastructure declines.
This
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 is particularly detrimental to
tourism
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, as many rural regions possess natural beauty and cultural heritage that attract visitors.
However
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, a shrinking
population
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 often means fewer services, less
development
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, and a decline in the quality of tourist facilities, which can discourage visitors and diminish the region's economic prospects.
For example
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, small towns in picturesque regions may see a drop in
tourism
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due to
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 the lack of restaurants, accommodations, or recreational activities. In conclusion,
while
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 rural-to-urban migration is driven by economic and social factors, I believe it has harmful consequences. It not only contributes to environmental issues in
cities
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 but
also
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 stifles the
development
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 of rural
areas
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, particularly in terms of
tourism
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. Addressing
this
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 issue requires balanced
development
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 policies that encourage growth in both urban and rural regions.

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task achievement
Consider providing a counterargument or discussing some potential positive aspects of rural-to-urban migration to show a balanced view, which may strengthen the argument.
task achievement
While the main ideas are clear, ensure each paragraph directly supports the task response by linking back to the main question or statement.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more diverse linking words or phrases to enhance the reading flow and show a higher level of cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly sets the context and provides a direct response to the task with the writer's opinion stated clearly.
logical structure
The essay maintains a logical structure, with paragraphs that are organized around clear main ideas relevant to the topic.
supported main points
The use of specific examples, such as the impact on pollution and tourism, helps to clarify and support the essay's main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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