Nowadays people depend on technology for leisure activities. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #technology #leisure #activities #development

There is a tremendously controversial perspective heating up a debate that

people

tend to overuse technological items in their leisure

time

this

day and age. In my opinion,

although

some regarded

this

phenomenon as positive, I deemed it more detrimental. Evidently, technology can bring a wealth of merits for

people

relaxing

Replace the word

relaxation

show examples

. Nowadays,

people

spend their

time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

expanding their knowledge as well as

acquire

Wrong verb form

acquiring

show examples

new skills more conveniently thanks to smart devices.

For example

, it is easy for a bunch of Vietnamese students to enhance their English skills through a bunch of cellphone applications

such

as Elsa speak or Duolingo which are easily downloaded.

Hence

, spending

time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

using technology does wonders for

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

entertaining

Replace the word

entertainment

show examples

. Without a shadow of a doubt, while its advantages are widely acknowledged, its counterparts still exist.

Truthly

Correct your spelling

Truly

, technological devices like smartphones can ruin family

time

because

people

tend to be glued to their phones rather than interacting with their family members. Some American

people

now usually use their mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

during

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

dinner

time

instead

enjoy

Change the verb form

enjoying

show examples

the meal and sharing their day with others. And it is one of the main reasons which can lead to the risk of reducing the quality of face-to-face interaction, thereby damaging the strong bond among

people

including friends and family.

Therefore

this

development can

also

be extremely harmful In conclusion,

people

spend their leisure

time

has changed dramatically due to the development of technological devices and I believe that

this

trend has both positive and negative impacts.

Submitted by hominhtrang995 on Sun Aug 21 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays people depend on technology for leisure activities. Is this a positive or negative development?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some believe that all individuals who break the law should be placed in prison as a form punishment. However, other hold the view that there are more effective alternatives to deal with lawbreakers.

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own idea (in words, pictures, music of film) in whicever way they wich. There should be no government restrctions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that the best way to improve road transport safe is to let the driver test each year. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

easily. In addition, the city is central to the state, trade, education and many sectors of the human being so society tends to find new experiences and broaden their horizon in the metropolitan which supports people’s capability at work.