Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not enough physical exercise. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures are there to this problem?

It is said by plenty of doctors that people around the world do not spend enough time exercising their bodies nowadays. The reasons for
this
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trend and the solutions, which I will mention in the following passages, can be considered from various perspectives.
To begin
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, one of the
causes
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reasons
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why citizens do not move their bodies aggressively is that most of them are
becoming
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apply
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busier than they used to be.
In other words
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, the trend that companies are asking their employees to develop their businesses in the short run leads to making workers work
late
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late,
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while
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a majority of them are
also
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required to take care of their children. Another reason is that Covid 19, which is still spreading throughout the world, forced the human race to refrain from going outside.
This
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crisis is making it more difficult to exercise physically because the most common way to keep your body sharp is jogging or running
which
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, which
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needs
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requires
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wide
Correct article usage
a wide
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space. To tackle the problem, I strongly believe that prompting enterprises to decrease the number of workdays in a week is one of the important measures. By taking
such
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actions, individuals would be able to take time for exercise even if
the
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apply
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adults have to spend time on weekends for other things
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such
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, such
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as relaxing
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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or playing with their children. The next solution is to encourage the progression of the latest technologies to improve so that citizens can have physical training
inside
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in
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their
houses
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homes
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without any concerns.
For example
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, the Nintendo
switch
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Switch
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, which is a well-known gaming device, can now be utilised for playing sports virtually. Other devices which are easy to use for elderly persons are expected in the future. In conclusion, I mainly believe that the main reasons why people are not moving their bodies enough are the intensity of work and
Corona Virus
Replace the word
the coronavirus
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.
However
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, I am
also
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convinced that
this
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problem can be solved by increasing the number of weekends and the
utilization
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utilisation
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of electronic devices
which
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, which
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can be used inside.

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planning
Plan your essay well: the first paragraph on causes, second on ways to solve, a short final thought.
coherence
Use simple words and short lines. Use linking words like first, next, also, but.
examples
Add more real examples. A small story or data can show how a fix can work.
grammar
Check spelling and form: Covid-19 with hyphen, 'weekends' plural, and 'inside' or 'at home'.
structure
Clear view of topic in intro and a closing statement.
coherence
Some good link words connect ideas.
content
The idea of at-home exercises is practical.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • physical activity
  • lifestyle changes
  • busy work schedules
  • access to facilities
  • cultural attitudes
  • recreational activities
  • health benefits
  • work-life balance
  • healthy habits
  • exercise routines
  • promoting physical fitness
  • sedentary behavior
  • energetic lifestyle
  • personal health responsibility
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