The prevention of health problems is more important than treatment and medicine. Therefore, governments should spend more money on educating people about healthy lifestyles instead of curing illnesses. How far do you agree with this statement?

#prevention #health #treatment #medicine #governments #money #people #lifestyles #illnesses

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The government should spend more resources to educate

people

Use synonyms

about the benefits of having a healthy lifestyle as it helps to reduce the chances of getting sick and increases the average life expectancy of the country. As the consumption of junk food has increased over the

last

Linking Words

few decades, a surge of diseases relating to obesity has been observed.

Similarly

Linking Words

, activities like smoking have given rise to the number of

people

Use synonyms

suffering from oral cancer. Governments spend a lot of money on the treatment of patients and

nonetheless

Linking Words

the huge investments, not all of them are able to survive. In cases like these, investing in making

people

Use synonyms

more aware of the deteriorating effects of a poor lifestyle could save a lot of lives and money.

Although

Linking Words

it is right to say that prevention is better than the cure, sometimes the fittest

people

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

fall prey to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

diseases like brain tumours and cardiac attacks. So, it is

also

Linking Words

important for a country to take of its citizens by providing them

affordable

Change preposition

with affordable

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healthcare services.

Additionally

Linking Words

, many

people

Use synonyms

have a busy routine nowadays, and following a strict diet plan or an

Remove the comma

apply

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exercise timetable can be difficult for them. In

such

Linking Words

cases, a little more than education may be required. In conclusion, I would say that campaigns on eating healthy, sleeping early, exercising daily, etc. can definitely create a lot of awareness but it is

also

Linking Words

important for the government to fund medicinal research for the cases where just precautions

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

help prevent diseases.

Submitted by cooljumpin on Mon Aug 22 2022

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear, logical structure with well-connected ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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The prevention of health problems is more important than treatment and medicine. Therefore, governments should spend more money on educating people about healthy lifestyles instead of curing illnesses. How far do you agree with this statement?

Your opinion

The amount of sport shown on television every week has increased significantly and this is having an impact on live sport events. Do you think the benefits of having more televised sport are greater than the disadvantages?

In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?

It is increasingly less common for family members to eat meals together. Why is this the case? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?