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Band 5.5

Todays teenagers have more stressful lives than previous generations. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

#todays #teenagers #lives #generations
It is commonly misunderstood that adolescents these
days
 have a more comfortable
life
 as compared to the past because of the advancement of technology, but it is the opposite in reality. The
life
 of young ones is more complicated these
days
. In
this
 essay, we will discuss the reasons why is it so. To initiate with, parents nowadays have more awareness, so they indulge their children not only in better school but
also
 in sports so that they can have a career in that sector.
For example
, a child goes to school from 8AM to 2PM,
then
 he has his game class in the evening for 2 hours and additional time is needed to do his homework.
Thus
Correct your spelling
This
show examples
,
contributing
Wrong verb form
contributes
show examples
 to stressful
life
 as no time is left for their leisure activities.
Secondly
, with the introduction of social media, children these
days
 feel more competitive as they have to keep up with the latest trends surfacing around in order to not to be judged by others which
further
 leads to mental stress.
Additionally
,
students
Add the comma(s)
,students
show examples
 these
days
 want to make their parents proud
as a result
, in order to prove their metal they work hard day and night contributing to a stressful environment. To recapitulate, I reiterate that, it is needless to say that the
life
 of the wards these
days
 is more complicated as compared to the past as they not only have to deal with the judgements of others but
also
 have to work hard for their holistic development and to make their parents proud.
Submitted by jasmeetcheema on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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