IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The main purpose of public libraries should be to provide books. Public libraries should not spend their limited resources on computer software, videos, or DVDs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is an opinion that public
libraries
Use synonyms
 should only have a diversity of
books
Use synonyms
 and do not need to take care about providing software applications, videos and other facilities. I do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I plan to explore a few thoughts of mine about
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the immediate picture that comes to our mind when we talk about
libraries
Use synonyms
 is numerous rows of shelves with a plethora of
books
Use synonyms
. Those who regularly use
libraries
Use synonyms
 know that it is challenging to find a particular book among others.
For example
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 was the case during my student days, and, in a number of cases, it took a long time to find what I needed to prepare for my exams. Needless to say, with the development of technology it becomes easier to seek materials not only inside a reading room but
also
Linking Words
 in a whole network of
libraries
Use synonyms
. Obviously, it is beneficiary for them
due to
Linking Words
 attracting more readers,
hence
Linking Words
, I am convinced that
such
Linking Words
 institutions should provide modern means
such
Linking Words
 as computer applications and platforms for more convenient manipulations of the required information.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if it is not affordable for
libraries
Use synonyms
 to buy new equipment, they could find sponsors and funding that will help them
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
tackle predicaments.
For instance
Linking Words
, the state university in my country has a huge collection of
books
Use synonyms
 and materials and, after attracting external capital, it opened several new well-equipped rooms where there are numerous readers not only students but
also
Linking Words
 other people. In conclusion, despite the financial constraints that
libraries
Use synonyms
 may face when purchasing modern equipment other than
books
Use synonyms
, I still believe that it is extremely important to keep pace with technological developments and provide the necessary facilities to users.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement is present in your introduction to immediately convey your position and forecast the direction of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Detailed real-world examples make your argument more robust and engaging.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs as well. This will improve the overall flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each dedicated to a specific aspect of the argument. This helps in maintaining a logical structure throughout.
coherence cohesion
Although you've presented a conclusion, try to make it more impactful by succinctly summarizing your main arguments and reiterating your stance.
task achievement
Increase the depth of your argument by exploring counterpoints and addressing them. This demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic and strengthens your position.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: