IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Computers are becoming an essential part of education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion.

#computers #part #education
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
At the present time,
computers
Use synonyms
 have been becoming a meaningful part of the educational field. The central theme of the essay is to find out some advantages and disadvantages.
However
Linking Words
, I am inclined to believe that
people
Use synonyms
 should try to keep a balance not to get several adverse consequences.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, using
computers
Use synonyms
 has two main benefits related to education. The system of
computers
Use synonyms
 can store important data
such
Linking Words
 as a large number of files, documents, folders and etc. Teachers and students can easily hold there their presentations, tests and homework.
For example
Linking Words
, Google Documents or Microsoft Office provide
people
Use synonyms
 with a number of programs, where
people
Use synonyms
 can create tables, documents, presentations and stores there.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the
second
Linking Words
 essential point is that computer system has been becoming a significant component of education as students have computer science subject. In
this
Linking Words
 lesson, students learn how to work on
computers
Use synonyms
, by doing so the situation forces schools to provide schoolchildren with
computers
Use synonyms
. Notwithstanding that there are some advantages,
computers
Use synonyms
 include two main drawbacks.
First
Linking Words
 of all, spending a long period of time in front of a monitor may cause an increasing number of illnesses.
For instance
Linking Words
, teenagers spend the bulk of their time at the computer, which can contribute to obesity, learning, attention, and sleep problems as kidhealth.org claims.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, To conclude, there are both advantages and disadvantages of
computers
Use synonyms
 in education,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 I am convinced that society is able to use
computers
Use synonyms
 in the right way without any harm to themselves and other
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Yerkezhan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: