For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art?

#time #art #part #cultures #world #people’s #values #science #technology #business #arts #attention

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There is an increasing concern regarding

art

Use synonyms

as a precious cultural treasure being forgotten in the modern world and being substituted by technological and scientific approaches. There are certain reasons for

this

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phenomenon and some specific measures recommended to tackle

this

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issue which I will discuss now. Considering the current financial challenges throughout the globe, children and adolescents are keen to opt for more money-making majors at an early age. The arts,

conversely

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, are not appealing regarding income.

Furthermore

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, the astronomical advancements in technology, science and business catch individuals' attention and encourage them to keep up with the pace.

In addition

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, computerized approaches hunt all aspects of our lives ranging from online shops to online dating apps.

Lastly

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, cultural values are being faded away

due to

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the communication improvements which are

leasing

Correct your spelling

leading

show examples

to globalization. There seems to be no respect for

art

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or cultural heritage among certain groups

such

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as children and youngsters. Regarding possible solutions,

the first step is

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to encourage young people to pay attention to the arts and raise their knowledge about cultural inheritances.

This

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might contribute to preserving important values. Free galleries and museum entry,

additionally

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, might promote

art

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's popularity among different income groups of society. The government

also

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should persuade young individuals with incentives like funding for studying

art

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or subsidies for

art

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exhibitions. In conclusion,

This

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is a vital situation and needs to be dealt with as soon as possible. Coordinated actions are needed from both governments and individuals all around the world to conserve cultural heritage.

Submitted by z.teymouri92 on Tue Aug 23 2022

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task response

The essay addresses the causes and solutions for the decline of interest in art. It provides relevant examples to support the points made. However, the essay could benefit from a clearer structure and more focus on the specific prompts given in the question.

coherence and cohesion

The essay shows coherence and cohesion in its overall organization and the use of cohesive devices. However, the logical structure could be improved with a more clear and explicit introduction and conclusion. Additionally, the essay could benefit from more logical and clear transitions between ideas.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

STEM fields (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics)
evolve
technological advancements
overshadowing
financial pressures
practical careers
digital entertainment
accessible
integrated
curricula
fostering
emotional intelligence
public art projects
engage
interactive

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