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Band 7.5

Some people prefer to work a lot, and spend less time on leisure activities. I think that this has more drawbacks than benefits

#people #work #time #leisure #activities
Nowadays, due to huge competition in the corporate, people spend their maximum term completing their struggle
instead
 of doing leisure tasks.
However
,
this
 habit tends to increase health issues but a number of times it helps to achieve the target goal in life. In the forthcoming, paragraphs we will discuss all the views of the essay.
To begin
 with, there are a plethora of disadvantages of spending hours in office performance.
Firstly
, if individuals always concentrate on their job it will be harmful not only to their health but
also
 rise the chance to become depression patients.
Secondly
, it is necessary for every person to consume pace with their family
otherwise
, it will cause a detrimental effect on their relationship.
For Example
, a survey revealed that the main reason behind the increasing number of cases of divorce is that in recent times couples are doing jobs and
hence
, they are unable to give adequate occasion to each other.
On the other hand
, sometimes spending more months in workplaces gives more relaxation than free season activities. It helps to build up the strong trust of the employer toward hardworking employees
consequently
, they can get promotions after a sufficient interval which
also
 helps them in their future growth.
For instance
, as per The Hindu newspaper survey in ,India most organizations during yearly appraisal present consider the performance as together as moment spent on office projects of the employee .
In addition
,
this
 era is the competition era
thus
 every person wants to secure their job and if they give more time to their products they will get an opportunity to enhance their skills in a different field
then
 their chance to become
first
 preference will increase. To conclude, leisure activities are more crucial for the community to release trial stress as well as to make a brilliant relationship with their family ,
however
, spending appropriate date on their professional task is
also
 essential to achieve growth in future.
Submitted by gurmit.150 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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