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Band 5.5

Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. Do you agree or disagree?

#lifestyles #parents #time #children #attention
In the current lifestyle, most guardians are working professionals
hence
 they do not have sufficient
time
 to spend with their
children
, because of that, many
pupils
 have been faced less attention by their parents while
children
 spend enough
time
 with them before. I completely agree with
this
 opinion and in
this
 ,
essay
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 I will state the reasons in the forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with, the most compelling reason for holding my view is that nowadays, most procreators cannot focus on their
children
’s education. To explicate it, many guardians are career oriented and working
in
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apply
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odd hours too which can affect
children
’s studies.
As a result
,
pupils
 cannot perform well during their primary education.
For instance
, it is observed that some students are so lazy due to a sedentary lifestyle, as they are not monitored by progenitors and given enough
time
 to teach them.
Furthermore
, another reason for my position is that procreators cannot give attention to
children
’s extra curriculum activities. To elaborate
it
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, these days, outdoor games and other activities are more crucial for their physical and brain development in order to stay healthy and physically fit. As a consequence,
pupils
 would not do any physical activity and play indoor games which can lead to a sedentary lifestyle and could affect their health.
Lastly
,
children
 would not learn regards to basic etiquette because of the busy schedule of progenitors. To explain it,
children
 cannot learn basic manners in schools which should be taught by their guardians.
Thus
, if
children
 would not get knowledge about good manners
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 would affect their academic careers as well as professional careers. In conclusion, I totally agree with the opinion that sentencing busy schedules progenitors can give less attention to their
children
 which can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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on
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their education, physical development and behaviour. Given
this
 situation, it is recommended that procreators should give sufficient
time
 to their
pupils
 for their growth.
Submitted by dhaval0302 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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