Celebrities are famous for their weath and glamorous lifestyles rather than their achievements. This sets a bad example for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with that idea?
It is true that some
celebrities
are more famous for their glamorous lifestyles than for their achievements. Even though I agree that these celebrities
set bad examples for children, I agree that there are some celebrities
who act as positive role models.
On the one
hand, many people
want to get achievements without really working for it. They have inherited money from their parents or married a famous or wealthy person and so on. For example
, one
of the celebrities
from Myanmar inherited money from her parents and she is more famous for her glamour and wealth than Change preposition
for her
her
work she does Change the pronoun
the
among
young Change preposition
for
people
. She spends the money so much but not for usefulness even though they are not from her real skills and abilities. Young people
want to use or buy according to their habits and that leads to the wrong way for them. That is
why I believe that young people
can be ruined as long as there are actors who behave like her.
But on the other side, there are at least as many celebrities
whose success make
them great role models for youth. Among them, there have usually been famous actors, musicians, sports players and other social influencers. If they show their working abilities and real skills and strength of mind that keep on their work, there may be many effects Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
for
young Change preposition
on
Change noun form
people’s
people’
life. Correct your spelling
people's
For instance
, there are so many social influencers who point out better ways to them for their life. They study first
by themselves and attempt with their effort and show young people
by their great result or their abilities. So, that kind of one
can motivate young people
to develop their talents.
To sum up, I believe that young people
can get by learning great things from the
talented Correct article usage
apply
celebrities
but the important thing is that the person who is chosen by young people
is not to be the wrong one
.Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite