It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

It is sometimes argued that
people
should become more flexible to take
risks
in both their private and professional
lives
.
While
I accept that deciding to take
risks
may be dangerous and uncomfortable, I believe that risky decisions could bring about life-changing experiences. On the one hand, stepping out of a comfort zone may be difficult for a majority of
people
as their future becomes uncertain, vague and full of
risks
.
For example
, a teenager who is accidentally pregnant will feel less inclined to keep her baby as she has no experience when it comes to child-rearing. She
also
will be put under a lot of pressure since she is
so
Rephrase
too
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young to be financially stable.
Therefore
, her child will not be provided with enough essential nutrients and necessary baby items
such
as clothes and diapers.
People
tend to be reluctant to take
risks
in their personal
lives
due to
unknown hazards.
On the other hand
, I believe that risky decisions should be made when needed since they could cast a new light on one's life.
For instance
, a patient who is diagnosed with cancer is offered
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
major surgery to get rid of a tumour in his liver and he is
heralded
Verb problem
told
show examples
that the risk of the surgery is high but it can save his life. If he happily accepts
this
highly risky situation and takes the surgery, he will have a possibility to survive. In terms of professional
lives
, the number of
people
who change their jobs to ones that are completely different from their fields is rapidly increasing today.
This
trend is rising in popularity because of several reasons.
Firstly
, they have a chance to challenge themselves escaping from a tedious work routine.
Secondly
, they are able to gain new experience and practical skills in their newly chosen fields. In conclusion,
although
taking
risks
in both daily and professional
lives
may bring about a few drawbacks, it could utterly change
people
's
lives
by bringing unique and useful
professionally
Change the word
professional
show examples
experiences
Submitted by nhuminh031001 on

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task response
The essay addresses the prompt well overall, providing reasoning for both sides of the argument. However, the examples provided need to be more relevant and specific to the points made.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear, with an introduction and conclusion present. However, the development of ideas and the connection between them need to be improved for better coherence and cohesion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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