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Band 6

Some people believe that the difference between the lowest paid job and the highest paid jobs should be reduced. What extent do you agree?

#people #difference #job #jobs
It has been observed that some people believe that it is necessary to reduce the imparity between the lowest-paid
jobs
 and the highest-paid ones. I firmly object to
such
 a statement,
this
 will lead to many adverse outcomes. First of all, it can't be ignored there are some disadvantages associated with
this
 practice. One of the drawbacks is to pushing
this
 change, governments have to allocate a great number of resources, which may exert unexpected financial pressure on the government, especially in those developing regions, where the average income level is relatively low. Another disadvantage is that forcing to reduce the differences between highest-paid
jobs
 and lowest-paid
jobs
 does not bring commensurate rewards and leads to marginal diminishing utility, which means that the additional benefit of the measures decreases as the amount of measure increases.
This
 results in inefficiencies and waste of resources which could be allocated to more productive and beneficial activities. The advantages of reducing financial differences between the lowest and highest-paid
jobs
 are undeniable and manifold, in
such
 a fair society, citizens will fully appreciate the diversity of richness of
jobs
, and they can choose
jobs
 they enjoy rather than those used to have decent salaries, which could
also
 motivate them to work hard.
This
 phenomenon will
also
 promote economic development, Economic development can have a positive impact on various aspects of society, it can create more job opportunities and enhance the availability of goods, and it can
also
 boost peoples' demands for goods. Under
such
 a virtuous cycle, people with lower incomes can improve their living standards.
However
,
this
 benefit is only transitory, but the adverse impact is long-lasting. In conclusion, my argument is that reducing differences between highest-paid
jobs
 and lowest-paid
jobs
 entails numerous issues and it is unpractical in today's world.
Submitted by cyh000823 on

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task achievement
You should ensure a balanced approach when discussing arguments on both sides. Your essay tends to be one-sided, which might not sufficiently cover the task requirements. Furthermore, providing specific examples rather than hypothetical ones could enhance the quality of your argument.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay could be improved by providing clear transitions and more precise topic sentences to guide the reader. Ensure each paragraph has a central idea and that all subsequent sentences relate directly to it. Avoid abrupt endings to paragraphs, and work on linking your ideas more seamlessly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Income disparity
  • Equitable
  • Socio-economic groups
  • Wage gap
  • Morale
  • Productivity
  • Social cohesion
  • Public health outcomes
  • Incentivize
  • Innovation
  • Economic growth
  • Skill level
  • Expertise
  • Competitiveness
  • Market forces
  • Supply-and-demand dynamics
  • Artificial adjustments
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