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Band 4.5

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own decisions on every day matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

#people #children #decisions #matters #food #clothes #entertainment #society #individuals
Children
 are adults in the making. A part of the population
think
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thinks
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 that allowing young ones to have sway in
choice making
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choice-making
show examples
 relating to everyday issues has the tendency to give rise to a society of people who are
self-centered
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self-centred
show examples
. Whereas, others are of the opinion that kids should be
Correct your spelling
stakeholders
show examples
stake holders
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stakeholders
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 in making decisions that affect them.
This
 essay will throw light on both opinions and
then
 give a pragmatic view. To start with, egocentrism will result when
children
 are given the free - hand to decide on the issues that concern them
such
 as entertainment.
Self
 - centeredness adversely affects the nation because citizens of the country rather than working towards a common good will become driven by personal gains.
Similarly
, selfishness leads to disarray in human settings because
children
 being irrational beings are driven by ephemeral pleasure and satisfaction
instead
 of future and
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long-lasting
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long - lasting
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long-lasting
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 gains.
Consequently
, disunity and division will unavoidably thrive in a
self - oriented
Correct your spelling
self-oriented
show examples
 human gathering.
However
, kids should be allowed to take decisions because
this
 builds
self - confidence
Correct your spelling
self-confidence
show examples
 in them, an attribute invaluable for a balanced society.
Similarly
, when
children
 are allowed to have a say in issues pertaining to them
such
 as dressing, they grow up with
self
 - esteem not needing people to validate their decisions.
In addition
 to
this
, involving
children
 in
part
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a part
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 of what contributes to their life, they grow up with
this
 I - am -
capable
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a capable
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 mentality which helps
become
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them become
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 responsible invariably producing adults ready to paddle the boat of their lives. To sum it up,
although
children
 should be given the freedom of making choices relating to them,
but
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apply
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they should be made to know every
of
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apply
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their choice has
an
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apply
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aftermath. In my opinion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society should put a kind of regulation in place for
children
, so that from time to time, they are guided to choose responsibly.
Submitted by chikajoy23.rn on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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