Some people believe that allowing children to make their own decisions on every day matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Children
are adults in the making. A part of the population
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
that allowing young ones to have sway in
choice making
Add a hyphen
choice-making
show examples
relating to everyday issues has the tendency to give rise to a society of people who are
self-centered
Change the spelling
self-centred
show examples
. Whereas, others are of the opinion that kids should be
Correct your spelling
stakeholders
show examples
stake holders
Correct your spelling
stakeholders
show examples
in making decisions that affect them.
This
essay will throw light on both opinions and
then
give a pragmatic view. To start with, egocentrism will result when
children
are given the free - hand to decide on the issues that concern them
such
as entertainment.
Self
- centeredness adversely affects the nation because citizens of the country rather than working towards a common good will become driven by personal gains.
Similarly
, selfishness leads to disarray in human settings because
children
being irrational beings are driven by ephemeral pleasure and satisfaction
instead
of future and
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
show examples
long - lasting
Correct your spelling
long-lasting
show examples
gains.
Consequently
, disunity and division will unavoidably thrive in a
self - oriented
Correct your spelling
self-oriented
show examples
human gathering.
However
, kids should be allowed to take decisions because
this
builds
self - confidence
Correct your spelling
self-confidence
show examples
in them, an attribute invaluable for a balanced society.
Similarly
, when
children
are allowed to have a say in issues pertaining to them
such
as dressing, they grow up with
self
- esteem not needing people to validate their decisions.
In addition
to
this
, involving
children
in
part
Add an article
a part
show examples
of what contributes to their life, they grow up with
this
I - am -
capable
Add an article
a capable
show examples
mentality which helps
become
Correct pronoun usage
them become
show examples
responsible invariably producing adults ready to paddle the boat of their lives. To sum it up,
although
children
should be given the freedom of making choices relating to them,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
they should be made to know every
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their choice has
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
aftermath. In my opinion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society should put a kind of regulation in place for
children
, so that from time to time, they are guided to choose responsibly.
Submitted by chikajoy23.rn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: