Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

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It is generally believed that

music

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can unite individuals from different backgrounds and ages. That might be true,

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however

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,however

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I think

music

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that is

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followed by certain practices might create gaps and groups among them. In

this

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essay, I am going to discuss both perspectives and decide to what extent I agree or disagree with

this

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notion.

Firstly

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music

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can vary from

place

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place

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, and different regions oftentimes have different types of

music

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. Individuals who live together in the same tribe might have their traditions that are followed by

music

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. To illustrate

this

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one

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of the tribes in my home country, specifically in Tanah Toraja, they have their own cultural practice of slaughtering cattle followed by tribal instruments being played during the session. A number of visitors who, despite their ages, might find it peculiar and sadistic. Simultaneously, they will be reluctant to watch,

although

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a gripping melody is served in the background.

Secondly

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, there are

also

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several occasions in my homeland where

people

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gather in

one

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place

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, dance, and enjoy time together with

music

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, despite the differences among us.

One

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of the examples is independence day which is held annually on August 17. Several competitions take

place

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including the dance competition. The rule is simple, we have to dance in pairs with a balloon between our heads, follow the rhythm of the

music

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, and don’t let the balloon pop or fall onto the ground. On

this

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occasion only,

people

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are not grouped by age or tribe. All family members, young and old, can join in all together. In conclusion, in my opinion, if

music

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is followed by some tribal practices that might be hard to be accepted by the majority of

people

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, despite the quality or taste

music

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of the

music

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this

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will fail to put

people

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one

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place

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However

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, if

music

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is played on an occasion

that is

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free from some extreme practices, it will bring joy and bring together

people

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from various backgrounds.

Submitted by serlyayus on Sun Aug 28 2022

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies for young people in some countries. It is undeniable that having a little bit of leisure time has become an essential part of our life.

In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this is a positive or negative development?

Percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

Some people say that what people do to protect the environment cannot make a difference

Some people argue that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their health and diet, while others believe that governments should be responsible for it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.