At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

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Population plays a vital role in the country’s success. Nowadays, the residents of a few countries have

Correct article usage

apply

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comparatively bigger

numbers

Correct the article-noun agreement

number

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of young individuals than the

number

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of older

people

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This

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essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of

this

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trend and

also

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elaborate,

why

Change preposition

on why

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the drawbacks of

this

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situation outweigh the benefits. An increase in the population of younger

people

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is beneficial for the economy of the country. Young

adults

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are more effective and efficient compared to older

people

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For example

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, young

adults

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working in a factory can do all the heavy work, whereas, aged

people

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find it difficult to do so. Another advantage of the rising

number

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of young

adults

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can help to serve the country in many ways. Young

adults

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can serve in the military, police and air force.

For instance

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, older

people

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can not fight wars. They are used to doing light work whereas, young

adults

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can be handy in all sorts of situations.

However

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, though, these advantages pale in comparison to the disadvantages. Despite the benefits, there are numerous disadvantages associated with a decrease in the population of aged persons.

Firstly

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, experience comes with age. The older the person, the more experience he has. To illustrate, most

people

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working at bigger posts in companies are older

people

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, that’s because of the knowledge and experience they have.

Secondly

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, a decrease in the

number

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of older

people

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can directly affect the education of the country.

In particular

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, the majority of professors, doctors and teachers are aged so, the decline in their numbers has a direct effect on education as the expertise would not pass on to the generation. To conclude,

this

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essay argued the advantages and drawbacks of the rising

number

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of young

adults

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as compared to aged

people

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. In my ,opinion

although

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there are benefits to the rise in young

adults

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, the drawbacks clearly outweigh them.

Submitted by mohammadkashif934 on Sun Aug 28 2022

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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