IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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It is undeniable the fact that environmental problems have a significant impact.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that losing specific species of plants and animals is the main concern, others argue that there are other critical environmental issues.
Although
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 both perspectives have their merits, I firmly believe that the loss of biodiversity is the most pressing problem.
This
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 essay will discuss both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, preserving the environmental balance requires a variety of creatures, because they have diverse duties.
In other words
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, the environment will run down if some species have been lost.
For example
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, bees of all kinds have a substantial role in nature, which is transferring pollen across wide space, and that plays a crucial part in vegetation.
Therefore
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, if the bees disappear on Earth an environmental disaster will come.
On the other hand
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, many other aspects prioritise pollution phenomenon because of the industrialization effect on our environment
such
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 as the immense change of the global climate.
In addition
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, the impact of these natural problems is more obvious rather than the previous one, as it affects the economic status of the world.
For instance
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, the fuel industry has been minimized because of its bad congestion that has affected the ozone layer. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I consider that it is vital to allocate a huge amount of care to preserve the creatures’ biodiversity as it plays the main role in sustaining the environment.

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task achievement
Clarify your main ideas for each paragraph to improve comprehension. For example, explain why biodiversity loss specifically leads to environmental issues in more depth.
coherence and cohesion
Vary your sentence structure and use linking words to enhance the flow of your essay. This will help in connecting ideas more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for small grammatical errors to enhance clarity. A smoother language use will positively affect your score.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument clearly, which is essential for this type of essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction effectively outlines the essay's purpose and establishes a clear thesis statement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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