Level of youth crime is increasing rapidly in the most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this and suggest some solutions.

this

day and age, we can see news about

youth

crime around the world on many platforms. Most nations are concerned about witnessing the rapid growth of offences committed by youngsters. So

this

essay is worth considering. Let us take a look at the reasons for

this

solution. There are several factors in the crime problem

such

as social media, lack of attention from parents ,

youth

protection laws and weapons that are easy to buy. Show that, the famous news in Thailand about child criminals shooting guns in shopping malls caused many people to be affected by the incident and worst of all, many people died, one of whom was a foreigner.

Therefore

, various people analyze

this

event and what factors make young boys turn into child criminals.The problem arises from parents putting too much pressure on their children about their studies and not paying attention to their children's details. His free time activity was shooting in the range when he was only fourteen. He admitted to ordering the weapons online. Even though he committed a crime as violent as an adult he should receive the maximum punishment. But because he is still a

youth

and cannot use the rules of an adult, he is not responsible for what he does.

Consequently

, citizens came to take action about

this

event to change

youth

law to have the severity of the punishment be equivalent to what was done. The essential one is weapons have to be traded, controlled and prohibited from being sold online.

However

, family is super significant in

this

problem. If a young boy has a good background

this

situation will be nothing worth happening.

To sum up

, the government and household should cooperate in solving these problems because the family is an important basis for a child and the government has a role in regulating various laws.

Submitted by np.napatping on Sun May 05 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is expanded with examples or explanations. Use linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly.

Task Achievement

To enhance task response, ensure that you address all parts of the task. Your essay should clearly introduce the problem, discuss reasons, offer solutions, and conclude effectively. Each part needs a dedicated section in your essay.

Task Achievement

For a higher score, work on developing your paragraphs fully. Explain your points more comprehensively by discussing one main idea per paragraph and supporting it with detailed examples.

General

Remember to review your essay for possible grammatical errors or awkward phrases. Clear, error-free English will help your score.

Task Achievement

You provided a relevant real-world example to support your point about youth crime, which made your essay more persuasive.

Task Achievement

Your conclusion succinctly summarizes the key points and suggests solutions, effectively wrapping up the essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

You've made a good effort at structuring your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Nowadays, young people spend much of their time watching TV and playing video games. Some people think these activities are bad for a young person's mental and physical health. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, teenagers tend to use almost all of their time to watch TV and play video games. Because of this, many people believe that these activities are bad for young people’s mental and physical health. In my opinion, I partly agree with this statement because these interests are only harmful to the young’s health when they are overdone, and if they watch TV and play games moderately, it is a good way to learn.
7
band
Some people think that the news media nowadays have influenced people's lives in negative ways. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
It is irrefutable that media has the greatest impact over the lives of people at present. Media can control lives either in positive or negative ways. Although some people might believe that media is always influencing lives negatively, I would like to go on the opposite side. I believe that media has the power and objective to positively shape the societal believes and cultures.
6.5
band
Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people lives. Other think that adults life brings more happiest, in spite of great responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your opinion
There is a debate about whether puberty eras are better than adulthood in terms of happiness. This essay will examine both viewpoints and present a balanced opinion.
5
band
Computers and artificial intelligent technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can A.I enhance the learning experiences. Is this a positive or negative development?
Some people believe that computers and A.I technology are becoming more popular for online education in many years back. This can be because that the convenience in keep contract with others in far ways. In my perspective, it is a positive development for education in all over the world.
7
band
in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before in the past. Some say an aging population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefits to society having more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of possessing an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
In many countries, individuals are experiencing longer lifespans than they used to. Although some people believe older generations can bring benefits to society, other’s perspective is that they create significant challenges for governments. in my opinion, these challenges outweigh any advantages.

Level of youth crime is increasing rapidly in the most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this and suggest some solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays, young people spend much of their time watching TV and playing video games. Some people think these activities are bad for a young person's mental and physical health. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the news media nowadays have influenced people's lives in negative ways. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people lives. Other think that adults life brings more happiest, in spite of great responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Computers and artificial intelligent technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can A.I enhance the learning experiences. Is this a positive or negative development?