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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Gone are the days when children dreamed of becoming doctors and nurses – today’s children want to become YouTubers or vloggers. According to a survey of 1,000 children aged six to 17, more than three quarters of them say they’d consider a career in online videos.It is dangerous for kids to aspire to become a YouTube sensation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Due to
 advancements in technology and the influence of social media, It is apparently true that
children
 want to develop their careers as Youtubers or vloggers rather than doctors and nurses.
However
,
according to
 my perspective,
such
 aspiration could be risky and vanish the plan of our wards. I have given my justification below. The
children
 prefer the
future
 as Youtubers or Vloggers
due to
 the different factors.
In other words
, they are highly inclined toward the media and other social platforms. They presume that loads of fame and success will
achieve
Wrong verb form
be achieved
show examples
 in
such
 professions. They do not see any
hardworking
Correct word choice
hard work
show examples
 or study requirements in
such
 careers.
In addition
, The financial status of other people who are involved in these
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 highly supports them in
taking
Correct your spelling
making
show examples
destructive decisions.
Nevertheless
, in the end, their
future
 goes dark since
this
 is just a temporary vision.
For example
, many
children
got failure
Verb problem
fail
show examples
 in their academics
due to
 their thoughts on online videos. In fact,
this
 has eventually spread to many places across the world.
On the other hand
, careers related to doctors or nurses are still recommended. The
children
 will have a secure
future
 and social acceptance. They will get reputed jobs and better settlement options.
Moreover
, they will have social status in society and a more respectful position.
For instance
, as per research conducted by the University of Japan, more than 70 per cent of
children
 who adopted a
future
 as a doctor or nurse, are happier than the other profession.
To conclude
, It is evident from the above summary that each opinion has some strength and significance, But, I strongly accept that the idea to prefer a
future
 career in online video or Youtubers
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 extremely unusual and concerned for the
future
 generation.
Submitted by mohan on

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