Nowadays，young people are admiring media and sports stars, even though they do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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There has been a phenomenon that young

people

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are admiring

media

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and

sports

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starts nowadays, even though they are not role models. I think

this

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is a negative development, and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs.

First

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, they influence the behaviour of their teen fans. It's expected that teenagers don't have a mature mind;

therefore

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, they are easily affected by their surroundings.

For instance

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, there is an increase in the smoking rate

Change preposition

among

show examples

juveniles; when they see adults smoke on the curb, they find it attractive that's why they start smoking. Same situation with admiring

sports

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and hip-hop celebrities. As we know, these

people

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constantly propagate the importance of money, and most of them are addicted to drugs. In

this

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case, they can bring about a negative impact on young

people

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Second

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, they challenge the importance of a diploma. It's commonplace that

media

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and

sports

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celebrities don't a university diploma, but they earn millions annually.

However

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this

Linking Words

phenomenon serves as a bad influence on the younger generation's minds. The existence of

this

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group of

people

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reminds young

people

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of the unimportance of a diploma. Take China as an example. E-commerce is popular in China nowadays, thanks to the thrifty of e-commerce, which create job opportunities for countless

people

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such

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as TikTokers and

media

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stars

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. They invariably are not educated well but still can make success.

Such

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a situation affects young

people

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detrimentally to a large extent. As a consequence, the whole society will become impatient.

On the other hand

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media

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and

sports

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stars

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can still impact teenagers positively.

For instance

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sports

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starts always teach

people

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not to give up. The games they have played can act as essential life lessons for innumerable kids; whenever they face some obstacles these

sports

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stars

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can encourage them. In conclusion, I believe admiring these

stars

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is a negative development.

junyiwu029Sun Aug 28 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

308 words

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Nowadays，young people are admiring media and sports stars, even though they do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

There is a problem in the road outside your house. Write a letter to your local councilor. In your letter: •introduce yourself, •explain what the problem is, •tell the councilors what you would like to be done.

Being a celebrity, such as a famous film star or sports personality, brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Some people think high school graduates should travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches.Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowlegde or experience

Some People Feel That Entertainers Such As Film Stars, Pop Musicians Or Sports Stars Are Paid Too Much Money. Do You Agree Or Disagree? Which Other Types Of Job Should Be Highly Paid?

Some people believe that robots will play an important role in future societies, while others argue that robots might have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion?