IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It must be a woman who stays at home to care for children. Men are not suited to this kind of work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 contemporary epoch, whilst proponents hold the view that ladies should not work in order to take care of their offspring, opponents have a diverse perspective.
However
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I am convinced that both genders should collaborate in their family and professional lives because that will have a profound impact on their relationships. My contention will be
further
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 explained.
To begin
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 with, many advocates discern that mothers should not only stay at home to do their household chores , but
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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should
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 start their
careers’ lives
Change noun form
careers

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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.
In other words
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, work will broaden their horizons ,and increase their interpersonal skills as well as collaboration skills .
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 might be exemplified by many female employees in Egypt who are knowledgeable and
well educated
Add a hyphen
well-educated

It seems that well educated is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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.
Hence
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, what can be said is that if many women are encouraged to have full-time jobs , they will be influenced positively.
Furthermore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many countries have been suffering from economic recession for years ,and that increases the demand for an extra source of income . To illustrate, when mothers participate in the
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending

It seems that spendings may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 their houses , that will ameliorate their financial
statuses
Fix the agreement mistake
status

It seems that statuses may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
according to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a survey conducted
in
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 Cairo university stated that many unemployed women are seen as a burden on their communities .
Thus
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 , not only they will raise their standards of living, but they will
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 improve the financial
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation

It seems that situations may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 of their countries. In conclusion, after
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay has manifested the points mentioned above, it can be reiterated that solid measures should be implemented by social authorities to provide many vocations for females .
Consequently
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I am of the belief that will ensure a fruitful future
to
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 the families and the nations as well .

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gender roles
  • Empathy
  • Nurturing
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Caregiving
  • Paternal leave
  • Equality
  • Stereotype
  • Societal norms
  • Dual-income families
  • Stay-at-home dads
  • Cultural evolution
  • Economic considerations
  • Skill sets
  • Traditional roles
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