Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

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Public

health

is one of the most prevalent policies in many countries, especially in developed notions. Some argue that it is necessary to construct more

sports

infrastructures for their citizens. Others argue that other policies should be enforced to achieve

this

goal.

This

essay illustrates both views and my opinion is not only building more

sports

centres but

also

the need to promote positive habits in individuals. It is believed that doing regular exercises, ranging from yoga to cardio workouts, is beneficial for our

health

as a result

, more

sports

spots located in society encourage residents to do exercises in their leisure time and after work with their friends or colleagues.

For example

, people could opt for different categories of

sports

facilities

such

as treadmills or weight machines

Change preposition

show examples

their own will.

Therefore

, there is a strong relationship between the number of

sports

facilities and the level of citizens'

health

However

, apart from physical exercise, there are other factors to influence one's

health

For instance

, having a balanced diet and maintaining a good habit

such

as no smoking and no drinking

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

an important role in becoming a healthy person.

Thus

, it is essential to attempt to implement different kinds of methods to obtain

this

ambition. In my point of view, it is undoubted that increasing the number of

sports

centres would be a possible solution to improve public

health

In contrast

, some elements should not be neglected

such

as educating citizens to have a nutritious diet and promoting no cigarettes and no alcohols lifestyle to the public.

Submitted by kylewkh726 on Sun Dec 31 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure you have a clear logical structure in your essay with distinct paragraphs representing introduction, body and conclusion. Use a variety of linking words to connect ideas fluidly. Consider exploring more functional expressions that enhance coherence.

Task Achievement

Address all parts of the task ensuring ideas are developed sufficiently. Provide more specific examples to support your points, as the current examples are somewhat generic. Present a clear position throughout the essay to fully satisfy the task requirements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

More and more people in developed countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problem dose this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a [huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that in order to deal with the problem of congestion in cities, privately owned vehicles should be banned in city centers, while others consider this to be an unrealistic solution. discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that children should study formal learning at school as young as possible. Others believe they should not go to school until they are at least 7. Discuss both views and give your opinion.