In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports, What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?

#years #rise #drugs #sports #consequences #athletes #measures #combat

With the desire to meet the score that

sportsmen

want, these days, some

sportsmen

are caught using

drugs

during the games. There are many problems caused by

this

trend, both social and personal, but I think there are solutions to tackle

this

problem.

To begin

with, athletes who are involved in

this

problem have a lot of pressure on a ranking. Every player works for years to participate in big sports events like the Olympics. It is obvious that they want to get the best result they can get.

Also

, there are countries that stress rankings like Russia. Those countries think rankings are highly related to their nation’s dignity. So,

sportsmen

end up using

drugs

to overcome these pressures.

Thus

, consequences

such

as ending their career, drug addiction and the transformation of their body can occur.

However

, there are ways to solve these problems.

Firstly

, foundations that hold the events should strengthen doping tests and forbid anyone who gets caught. They must show organizers are strongly against

this

phenomenon and one single fault can erase their career forever. Plus, undefined

drugs

have appeared on the scene, so limiting all the possibilities is important.

Moreover

, people should hold a campaign about doping. Children can be easily affected so it is important to tell them what results if they use

drugs

and show them the cases.

This

way they will not be brainwashed by some toxic coaches. In conclusion,

due to

players’ eagerness to win the game, more and more

sportsmen

are using dope.

This

is a concern to themselves and society because it cannot only end their career but

also

cause drug addiction and changes in their body

Submitted by dean130trbl on Fri May 10 2024

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examples

Try to expand on the examples you provide, giving more detailed scenarios or real-world cases that demonstrate the consequences of doping and the effectiveness of your proposed solutions.

cohesive devices

Include a wider range of cohesive devices and transition phrases to smoothly link ideas between sentences and paragraphs, enhancing the overall readability and flow of your essay.

task response detail

For an even stronger task response, ensure every part of the question is addressed with equal depth and detail. You've made a good start on this, but further elaborating on the consequences of doping could strengthen your essay.

introduction/conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion effectively outline your essay's argument, which is a strong suit in achieving a coherent and cohesive text. Well done!

logical structure

You have a clear logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow the progression of your argument throughout the essay.

main points clarity

You've developed your main points with a good level of clarity, making it easier for the reader to understand the issues and solutions related to doping in sports.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs)
Doping
Anabolic steroids
Health ramifications
Stigmatization
Disqualification
Anti-doping agencies
Therapeutic Use Exemptions (TUEs)
Integrity of sports
Biological passport
In-competition testing
Out-of-competition testing
Whistleblower
Ban substances
Suspension
World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA)

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