IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is impossible to help all people in the world, so governments should only focus on people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree?

There exists a school of thought
whether
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on whether
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countries
Use synonyms
 should concentrate to help their local citizens as it is impossible to assist
worldwide
Add an article
the worldwide
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 entire population. I am inclined to believe that developing
countries
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 have no proper finances to help out other citizens, whereas powerful
countries
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 should invest in that direction. Ever thought
how
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about how
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 many problems poor
countries
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 have to address in order to ensure
the
Correct article usage
a
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minimal
Replace the word
minimum
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 standard of
life
Replace the word
living
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 for the local
people
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? Obviously, the government of these cities could not cut out the resources that were dedicated to
enhance
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enhancing
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 the vital fields of the city’s growth
such
Linking Words
 as medical care or military
defense
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defence
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 in order to help other nationalities with similar conditions. A prime priority for every country is to develop their weak areas and rise the life standard of locals. To illustrate, Armenia has a huge debt, serious military problems with surrounding enemies and it could not cover the minimum needs of all citizens
therefore
Linking Words
 solving issues of other nationalities is out of the question. On the flip side, blooming
countries
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 should help as many societies as they can regardless of the notion of helping all
people
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 on the planet. Rich
countries
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 should assist struggling ones in their vital humanitarian sectors
such
Linking Words
 as health, nutrition and education. (Philanthropy is the driving force of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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evolution, and each human being should care
of
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for
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 other
people
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 as
this
Linking Words
 is the only way to go if we want to leave
in
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on
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safe
Correct article usage
a safe
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 and harmonic planet.) As well, investing in foreign
countries
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 and improving
people
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’s life quality promotes
the
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apply
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science as
people
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 without critical problems have time to concentrate on discoveries and create state-of-the-art technologies.
For instance
Linking Words
, despite the fact that Armenia is not rich there are world-famous native scientists that made frustrating discoveries
such
Linking Words
 as
colored-TV
Correct your spelling
colored TV
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 that have an effect on others worldwide. To sum up, indeed the governments which have enough assets should fund less advanced cities, whereas the unprogressive
countries
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 should zero in on their fragile areas and help locals to meet ends.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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