In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. To what extent do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There exists a school of thought
whether
Change preposition
about whether
show examples
arresting law violators and increasing police control on the roads is not a productive way to minimize the crime rates, whereas addressing the key sources - poor educational and social standards are the way to go and I agree. Ever thought that some
people
Use synonyms
, who break the law may have some emergency reasons for that? Obviously, a father who needs money to pay for an operation that costs an arm and a leg may have to rob the shop or even the bank in order to save his offspring’s life.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the authorities should create regulation that tackles these kinds of cases and improves the financial situation of citizens. To illustrate, in Canada even homeless
people
Use synonyms
who do not have any type of medical insurance get the appropriate medical support once needed. Indeed, education is a key factor to become financially stable as well as it makes
people
Use synonyms
respect the rules which have an effect on the entire society. As a rule of thumb,
people
Use synonyms
who receive a degree at any educational establishment are likely to find a job and rely on their knowledge in order to enhance their standard of life compared to uneducated
people
Use synonyms
who are limited in options to earn for living. As well, learning enhances
people
Use synonyms
’s mental abilities and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
them more caring towards other
people
Use synonyms
’s rights and pushes them to preserve laws at all costs in order to live in a safe environment. To illustrate, in most European countries the law violations are the lowest due to the fact that schools and Institutions are free of charge and almost all citizens have a corresponding degree. To sum up, enhancing control on the streets and punishing criminals is just a temporary measure, whereas the long-term solution is to solve the root causes
such
Linking Words
as hardship and lack of schooling.
Submitted by angaydn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • root causes of crime
  • criminal behavior
  • legitimate economic opportunities
  • enhancing educational opportunities
  • skills and qualifications
  • job prospects
  • economic disparities
  • social programs
  • economic empowerment
  • police presence
  • deter criminal activities
  • underlying issues
  • prison sentences
  • rehabilitate criminals
  • comprehensive rehabilitation programs
  • community-building efforts
  • social services
  • supportive environment
  • discourages criminal behavior
What to do next:
Look at other essays: