The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend?
In today's modern era, more and more kids in the
Capitalize word
Western
western
world have become obeseCapitalize word
Western
nowadays
. The ratio of obesity among youngsters Rephrase
apply
goes
up by 20% over the past ten years. The reasons Wrong verb form
has gone
as well as
the impact of the phenomenon will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, one of the main reasons is that there are so many fast food restaurants located in western
countries, Capitalize word
Western
such
as McDonald's, Five Guys, KFC...etc. Having high-calorie snacks is part of the youngsters' daily routine. For example
, it is common to see students holding a big
large Correct word choice
apply
coke
and eating french fries Capitalize word
Coke
while
they are walking on the street. Secondly
, lack of exercise will be another cause of the issue. Foodstuff which contains a large amount of sugar makes people feel sleepy and drowsy, as a result
, they tend to feel much lazier to work out. Third,
since fast food is quite convenient, easy to obtain, and also
much cheaper than other nutritious cuisine, parents prefer to get a full fast-food meal set within 10 minutes, instead
of spending more time at a grocery store and in the kitchen preparing a healthy cuisine for their children.
The effects of the growing trend are rather worrisome as these overfat kids will soon grow up and cause a heavier burden on society. Firstly
, the young generation might become more sluggish and have developmental delays due to
obesity. To illustrate, obese students are not only slow in their movement,
but in their reaction as well. With that being said, their study performance could be affected Remove the comma
apply
accordingly
, which contributes to lower productivity when they grow up. Furthermore
, being overweight leads to more serious problems and diseases, including diabetes, high blood pressure or angina pectoris, consequently
, consuming more medical and social resources. For instance
, the government will have to allocate more funds toward medical treatment along with
public facilities for these overfat residents.
In conclusion, insufficient outdoor activities and poor diet are the main causes of fatness, which results in plentiful diseases and affects human development to a certain degree. The community should take the problems seriously and raise citizens' awareness of maintaining a healthy diet and lifestyle.Submitted by emily841113 on
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task response
Ensure that the essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Make sure to clearly present the causes and effects of the trend, and fully support the main points with appropriate explanations and examples.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened by clearly outlining the main points that will be discussed and summarizing the key arguments, respectively.
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