IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

After graduating from high school , some young people decide to start working right away instead of going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this?

#school #people #right #university
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many teenagers are doing a job after completing high school and they do not try their luck in University so
this
Linking Words
 essay illustrates both sides of the above statement. The
first
Linking Words
 and foremost is that due to their family condition , they cannot afford a university's fees , which are much more than the school ,
However
Linking Words
 , they want to study but the family budget is low for
further
Linking Words
 studies,
for example
Linking Words
 , in India , thousands of students are doing labour works , owing to poverty ,
consequently
Linking Words
 , they are never eligible for high profile profession.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , they do not get an education ,
therefore
Linking Words
 they remain unemployed which is the reason they cannot increase their income ,
for example
Linking Words
 , nowadays , many pupils are unskilled ,
therefore
Linking Words
 they are not able to take a job in a prestigious company.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, due to it , they cannot afford basic facilities , which humans easily get ,
such
Linking Words
 as some poor people being deprived of health services.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , they build a new income source for the family , which helps them to wake up from poverty ,
for instance
Linking Words
 , in many countries , the state provides a wide range of schemes to reduce bankruptcy.
Secondly
Linking Words
 , they save their time and bucks because if they class in university , they have to give the capital and they start their jobs couple of years after but they both achieved it ,
for instance
Linking Words
 , currently , many students have amazing skills any kind of work so the left the inspection and start the work for better future. In conclusion ,
although
Linking Words
 , education is important for them , they get more beneficial than that so they take off the review and are doing a great job , which completes their internal satisfaction and
also
Linking Words
 provides an early income source.
Submitted by ssangani6161 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: