IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

An increasing number of professional, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries. What problems does this cause? Solutions?

#doctors #teachers #countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With the advancement of lifestyle ,people tend to earn more money in order to acquire an exquisite
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 .For
this
Linking Words
reason
Add a comma
,reason
show examples
 most
professionals
Use synonyms
 in underdeveloped
countries
Use synonyms
 end up working in rich
countries
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay ,I will discuss all possible causes and solutions for
this
Linking Words
 specific issue.
Firstly
Linking Words
, many poor
countries
Use synonyms
 fail to provide
hefty
Add an article
the hefty
a hefty
show examples
 pay scale for
health
Use synonyms
 care workers and teachers as these
professionals
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 under the category of social service.
However
Linking Words
, film actors and
Correct your spelling
sportsmen
show examples
sports men
Correct your spelling
sportsmen
show examples
 are treated with high
payment
Replace the word
pay
show examples
 in these same
countries
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, In India many nurses and
doctors
Use synonyms
 are
payed
Correct your spelling
paid
show examples
 less compared to
bollywood
Change the capitalization
Bollywood
show examples
 actors .
As a result
Linking Words
 ,these people become exultant to
work
Use synonyms
 in western or gulf
countries
Use synonyms
 ,as they get a proper remuneration.
Secondly
Linking Words
, insufficient job vacancies make a doctor or teacher
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
leave their own
countries
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 ,most
professionals
Use synonyms
 prefer to
work
Use synonyms
 in places that can ensure more practical skills.
For instance
Linking Words
,hospitals in gulf
countries
Use synonyms
 make innovations
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
 sector and
this
Linking Words
attract
Change the verb form
attracts
show examples
 a lot of Indian
doctors
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 there. As
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 negative
impact
Add a comma
,impact
show examples
 the future generation in these poor
countries
Use synonyms
 going to lack proper education and
health
Use synonyms
 assistance. In order to mitigate these problems,the
health
Use synonyms
 and education ministry should give adequate wages for both
doctors
Use synonyms
 and teachers.
Secondly
Linking Words
, more investment should be done to enhance both hospital and school facilities. It is important to make sure schools and hospitals are running with the help of more advanced technologies and
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
. To illustrate, the
kerala
Change the capitalization
Kerala
show examples
 government has come up with new ideas that
supports
Change the verb form
support
show examples
 both hospital and educational sectors.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the central government should consider
to promote
Change the verb form
promoting
show examples
 more job opportunities for talented young lecturers and
doctors
Use synonyms
. To sum up,
immigration
Correct article usage
the immigration
show examples
 of young
professionals
Use synonyms
 to other developed
countries
Use synonyms
 will affect the sustainability and progress of the future generation in a poor country.
Therefore
Linking Words
 ,the government should take precautions in order to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Submitted by deepumolvarghese5 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: