IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

All museums and art galleries should be free becuase they are an important oart of contry's culture. How far do u agree with this statement.

#museums #art #galleries #becuase #oart #contry #culture
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Nowadays there is a dispute over the charge value for visiting
artistic related
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artistic-related
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places
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such
Linking Words
 as
museums
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 and art galleries. I firmly believe that
places
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 which represent the cultural values of a nation, should not be free to visit and should at least cost a modest amount of
money
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 for
visitors
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. In my perspective of view, there are multiple reasons that I would argue against the statement that cultural
centers
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centres
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 like
museums
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 should be free to
visitors
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. At the outset,
places
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 like
museums
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where
Correct word choice
which
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 hold
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
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 of relics and valuable items, need lots of maintenance to make these
places
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 prepared for
visitors
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 and absorb
audience
Correct article usage
the audience
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.
This
Linking Words
 maintenance has expenses so there must be some revenue
exist
Wrong verb form
existing
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 in order to offset the expenditure related to conserving these
highly
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high
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price
Wrong verb form
priced
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 items,
Linking Words
otherwise
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,otherwise
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 after a while these antiques will be devastated and bring a lot of damage to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society and its culture.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there are always some robbers out there who perpetually are looking for an opportunity to heist the valuable things that are being kept in
places
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such
Linking Words
 as art galleries, and for that reason,
Linking Words
this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
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 of
places
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 should be equipped with anti-robbery
cutting edge
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cutting-edge
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 devices which prevents any vicious thoughts about banditry in
this
Linking Words
places
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.
Equipments
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Equipment
Types of equipment
Pieces of equipment
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such
Linking Words
 as hidden cameras, laser systems and modern locking systems are required in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 sensitive
places
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 and they all need lots of
money
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 and
this
Linking Words
money
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 can be earned by the visiting charge from these
places
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.
Finally
Linking Words
,
besides
Linking Words
 all the mentioned
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
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 above, there
are
Change the verb form
is
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expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
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 for accommodation and the leasing or even purchasing
the
Change preposition
of the
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 place that the museum must be placed in and since it is related to the culture of a nation, the place of the museum must be in a prestigious part of the city to gain more attention and
visitors
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, particularly foreigner
visitors
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 and so getting
such
Linking Words
 a building requires a lot of
money
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. In conclusion, in my point of view,
museums
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 and artistic
places
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 should not be free to
visitors
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 in order to earn their spending,
Linking Words
otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
show examples
 these
places
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 will be abandoned after a while and no one will go and visit them, due to the lack of maintenance and
preserverance
Correct your spelling
perseverance
.
Submitted by mahshadrezaee1 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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