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All museums and art galleries should be free becuase they are an important oart of contry's culture. How far do u agree with this statement.

#museums #art #galleries #becuase #oart #contry #culture
Nowadays there is a dispute over the charge value for visiting
artistic related
Add a hyphen
artistic-related
show examples
places
such
 as
museums
 and art galleries. I firmly believe that
places
 which represent the cultural values of a nation, should not be free to visit and should at least cost a modest amount of
money
 for
visitors
. In my perspective of view, there are multiple reasons that I would argue against the statement that cultural
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 like
museums
 should be free to
visitors
. At the outset,
places
 like
museums
where
Correct word choice
which
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 hold
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
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 of relics and valuable items, need lots of maintenance to make these
places
 prepared for
visitors
 and absorb
audience
Correct article usage
the audience
show examples
.
This
 maintenance has expenses so there must be some revenue
exist
Wrong verb form
existing
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 in order to offset the expenditure related to conserving these
highly
Change the adverb
high
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price
Wrong verb form
priced
show examples
 items,
otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
show examples
 after a while these antiques will be devastated and bring a lot of damage to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and its culture.
Secondly
, there are always some robbers out there who perpetually are looking for an opportunity to heist the valuable things that are being kept in
places
such
 as art galleries, and for that reason,
this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
show examples
 of
places
 should be equipped with anti-robbery
cutting edge
Add a hyphen
cutting-edge
show examples
 devices which prevents any vicious thoughts about banditry in
this
places
.
Equipments
Change the wording
Equipment
Types of equipment
Pieces of equipment
show examples
such
 as hidden cameras, laser systems and modern locking systems are required in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 sensitive
places
 and they all need lots of
money
 and
this
money
 can be earned by the visiting charge from these
places
.
Finally
,
besides
 all the mentioned
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
 above, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
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 for accommodation and the leasing or even purchasing
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 place that the museum must be placed in and since it is related to the culture of a nation, the place of the museum must be in a prestigious part of the city to gain more attention and
visitors
, particularly foreigner
visitors
 and so getting
such
 a building requires a lot of
money
. In conclusion, in my point of view,
museums
 and artistic
places
 should not be free to
visitors
 in order to earn their spending,
otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
show examples
 these
places
 will be abandoned after a while and no one will go and visit them, due to the lack of maintenance and
preserverance
Correct your spelling
perseverance
.
Submitted by mahshadrezaee1 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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