IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people suggest that it is wrong to give money to beggars asking for money on the street, while others think that it is the right thing to do. Which point of view do you think is correct, and why?

#people #money #beggars #street #right #point
There are debates about whether
people
 should give
money
 to homeless
people
 who are asking for
money
 on the street. I consider it improper to give
money
 to strangers if we hope
this
society
 functions in an efficient way.
First
 of all, giving
money
 to strangers is likely to cause threats toward
people
 who donate because those who appear to be warm-hearted and generous are the best targets for those criminals who are thriving to get some
money
. A universal rule is that the boundary between each individual is the most vital thing for every member of
this
society
 to get along peacefully with each other.
For example
, in order to get goods from ,merchants every customer needs to pay a price, which,eventually, becomes a universal law that we reap what we saw.
As a result
, all citizens have to work hard and pay for what they need, which makes
this
society
 function normally.
However
, when
people
 are used to getting things without any effort, they are likely to commit crimes. Another reason why
people
 should not help beggars by simply giving
money
 is that those homeless
people
 need more professional support.
For instance
, a youth who is begging for cash should have been in a school learning fundamental skills, which is imperative for him/ her to become a skilful individual and earn better salaries in the future.
Conversely
, getting advantages without any work is detrimental to his/ her development both psychologically and physically.  Admittedly, for
people
 who are in an emergency,
first
 aid should be always accessible if we want every member of
this
society
 to feel safe.
However
, I believe some direct support
such
 as food, medical services and shelters should be more appropriate rather than monetary support. To conclude, I consider it detrimental to fund a stranger without asking for any returns if laws and rules are the foundation of a healthy
society
.
Submitted by 519185808 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: