IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many students find it is difficult to concentrate or pay attention in school, what are the reasons? what could be done to solve this solution?

#students #attention #school
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It is true that many
students
Use synonyms
 feel hard to pay attention and concentrate in an educational environment.
This
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 essay will discuss
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
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 behind
this
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 phenomenon and
adverse
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the adverse
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some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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effects
associate
Wrong verb form
associated
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 with it. There are a number of factors for concentrating lessons on
students
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. Chief among these is that
students
Use synonyms
 feel bored when studying
in
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apply
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monotonous subjects. Take literature as an example,
students
Use synonyms
 in
this
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 class are easy to fall asleep
by
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to
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 the traditional teaching techniques in which teachers mention huge of
theory
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theories
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 and the
students
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 will write these things in their notebooks. Another possible reason is that
students
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 are allowed to have
Correct your spelling
smartphones
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smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
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 with them at school,
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this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 makes
the
Correct pronoun usage
it the
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 hard to focus on the lesson. It means learners will check their notifications and surf the internet like a habit when they have their phones on the table. Various measures,
nevertheless
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, can be adapted to tackle
this
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 situation.
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First
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The first
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 possible approach is that it must replace the old teaching techniques with the new one which is more interesting and easy to focus on.
For example
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,
by
Change preposition
apply
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using
the
Correct article usage
apply
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slides which have some animations or visual effects to receive
attention
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the attention
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 of
students
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,
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this
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apply
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also
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 has
students
Use synonyms
 change
the
Change the word
their
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 attitude toward the subject. The
second
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 solution is that schools should not allow bringing their phone
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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class.
This
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 solution can restrict
students
Use synonyms
 from using their
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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 to play games or do other things. In conclusion, it is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 fact that trouble in concentrating or paying attention
of
Change preposition
to
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 in
class
Add an article
a class
the class
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 can stem from many causes,
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however
Add a comma
,however
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 steps can be taken to ameliorate
this
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.
Submitted by ielts10chamlun on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • concentration
  • attention span
  • distractions
  • technology
  • boredom
  • tiredness
  • engagement
  • learning disabilities
  • teaching techniques
  • classroom size
  • family issues
  • health problems
  • motivational strategies
What to do next:
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