IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

You recently started commuting to work by bicycle and discovered that there is a problem with bicycle parking near the building where you work. Write a letter to the building manager. In your letter, •explain the reason for using a  bicycle to commute •mention what problems you have encountered with parking •what you recommend to solve the problems

#work #bicycle #manager #•explain #reason #•mention #•what
Dear sir, I am inscribing
this
 missive to request you to arrange parking space for the cycle, as I have recently started using the
bicycle
 to commute to work. Recently, I have started using a
bicycle
 to travel to the
office
 because of the traffic.
Moreover
, my accommodation is at a 20-minute distance by cycle, so I save money on fuel costs. I prefer the
bicycle
 because it improves my health. As our
office
 is in the hub of the city,
that is
 why it is very hard to find a spot to park my
bicycle
. I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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parked my bike in front of the
office
 under the shade of a tree but when I came in the evening it was on the ground and people were having difficulty
in
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walking on the footpath. It would be really helpful to install the
bicycle
 stand in front of the
office
 as there is some space under the tree.
Apart from
this
, it will save my two pedals from getting robbed,
along with
 providing a secure space for parking without becoming a disturbance in the way of pedestrians. I hope you will acknowledge the issue raised by me as soon as possible. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Simranjot Kaur
Submitted by simrantiwana1086 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea to improve clarity.
task achievement
Try to provide more detailed recommendations to reinforce the task response.
coherence cohesion
The letter includes a clear greeting and closing.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is polite and formal, which is appropriate for addressing a building manager.
task achievement
The letter effectively explains the reasons for using a bicycle and the parking issue experienced.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
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