Money is important in most people’s lives. Although some people think it is more important than others. What do you feel are the right uses of money? What other factors are important for a good life?

#money #people’s #lives #people #right #factors #life

Money

always plays a pivotal role in everybody’s

life

. It is true that

money

cannot buy us

happiness

, but it can enable us to enjoy

life

. In the following paragraphs, I will explain the right use of

money

/wealth and what other factors improve our lives. To commence with,

money

can improve and make our lifestyle easy in numerous ways as with

money

we can buy anything.

For instance

, if we have

money

, we can buy a car or bike and stop using public transport.

This

will save us a lot of time.

Money

is essential to take care of our basic needs like food and health care. If we have

money

, we can provide quality education to our children and fulfil their wishes. We can buy a home and travel to exotic locations and enjoy other amenities of

life

. We can

also

donate

money

for

Change preposition

show examples

causes we are passionate about. While

money

may not always buy us

happiness

, not having enough

money

is one of the biggest causes of stress in many people’s lives. Needless to say,

money

certainly makes

life

more enjoyable.

On the other hand

money

is not the only factor contributing to

happiness

. In order to be happy, people

also

need good health and

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

supportive family and friends. Without good health, we cannot find

happiness

no matter how wealthy we are.

Likewise

, a loving and caring family is a must because humans are emotional creatures. While

money

will satiate our physical needs like hunger, only love and care can make us emotionally happy and secure. To conclude,

money

makes us happy by fulfilling our material needs whereas family and friends complete our joy by satisfying our emotional needs.

Submitted by duongkt on Tue Aug 30 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Money is important in most people’s lives. Although some people think it is more important than others. What do you feel are the right uses of money? What other factors are important for a good life?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In recent years, online education is becoming more and more popular. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon? Use specific details and examples to explain your opinion.

The world of work is changing rapidly and people cannot depend on the same job or same conditions of work for life. Discuss the possible causes for this change and give your suggestions on how people should prepare for work in the future.