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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Ordinary people try to copy famous people either reading magazines or watching TV. Why do they do this? Do you think it is a good idea to copy famous people?

6.5 / 9
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Introduction
Famous individuals are copied by ordinary
people
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 to change their lifestyle , and
this
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 is done by watching the media or reading magazines. There are various reasons linked to
this
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 happening. I highly think that
this
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 is a positive approach as long as
people
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 copy them sensibly.
Body paragraph 1
One major reason why
people
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 imitate famous
personalities
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 is that they admire their success, wealth and appearance. Since famous
people
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 are frequently publicised through the media and magazines, ordinary
people
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 are often influenced by them, leading them to adopt a similar lifestyle.
Therefore
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,
people
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 feel encouraged to follow the same beauty tips, fashion trends and fitness habits because they aspire to look and live like
celebrities
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.
Body paragraph 2
Learning from famous
people
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's pasts and struggles could
also
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 be another reason, as their stories inspire many
people
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. Several
celebrities
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 have come from low-class families;
however
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, they have achieved great success through hard work.
Additionally
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, ordinary
people
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 often listen to their podcasts or read stories in magazines, which can significantly motivate them to improve their own
lives
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.
This
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further
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 helps
people
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 build confidence and accomplish meaningful goals in their
lives
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.
Body paragraph 3
I believe that copying famous
personalities
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 is a positive approach.
However
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,
people
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 should not imitate them blindly, as they are usually seen in a branded appearance. If
people
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 copy them
according to
Linking Words
 their own financial resources, that would be greatly positive. Inspiration
also
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 allows
people
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 to improve their
lives
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, set ambitions and encourage discipline in their
lives
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, so following famous
personalities
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 can be beneficial as long as
people
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 make sensible choices and do not go beyond their means.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
people
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 often copy
celebrities
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,as they
also
Linking Words
 want to experience success and wealth. Famous
personalities
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 inspire ordinary individuals to set their goals and achieve them. It would be very useful if
people
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 followed
celebrities
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according to
Linking Words
 their income, so that they could not spend significant money to improve their
lives
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.

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Task response
You answer both parts of the question. To make your view stronger, explain more clearly why copying can be good and where it can cause harm. For example, say that healthy habits may help, but buying costly things may cause money problems.
Task response
Your ideas are clear, but some points are repeated: success, wealth, goals, and a better life. Add one real or more exact example, such as copying a sports star’s daily exercise plan rather than their clothes or cars.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: reasons, your view, then an ending. Each main paragraph has one main idea, so it is easy to follow.
Coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more care. You use “Additionally”, “Therefore”, and “However” well, but do not start too many sentences in the same way. You can also use simple links such as “For this reason”, “As a result”, and “On the other hand”.
Coherence and cohesion
Make the last paragraph more direct. The phrase “so that they could not spend significant money” is unclear. Write: “This can stop them from spending too much money.”
Coherence and cohesion
Check small form and spacing issues, such as “lifestyle ,” and “celebrities,as”. Also, “low-class families” is not natural here; “poor families” or “families with little money” is clearer.
Task response
You give two clear reasons: people want the success, looks, and way of life of famous people, and they are moved by stories of hard work.
Task response
Your main view is clear throughout: copying famous people can be helpful when people make wise choices and live within their own means.
Coherence and cohesion
The introduction states the topic and your view, and the ending returns to the main message.
Coherence and cohesion
The paragraphs are well planned, with clear topic sentences and support after each main point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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