IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Young people have different ideas and attitudes with their parents and grandparents. What are the differences? What problems may be caused?

#people #attitudes #parents #grandparents #differences
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With
generation
Correct article usage
the generation
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 gap, new
concept
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concepts
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 and
upbringing
Correct article usage
the upbringing
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 of
youngsters
 differ completely from their
parents
 and grandparents. Young people's behaviour and ideas are different from theirs and sometimes
this
 can lead to
incomprension
Correct your spelling
incomprehension
 and disagreement between them. One factor which has changed the mindset of
youngsters
 is
less
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fewer
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 rules and regulations set on them, leading them to be a more extrovert
person
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people
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, having their own opinions and they do set their own rules.
Moreover
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,Moreover
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 youngster's
punishment
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punishments
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 at school
are
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is
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 less severe
,
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apply
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 when they misbehave now,
there
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it
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 is psychological
follow up
Add a hyphen
follow-up
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 made with them rather than severe rules imposed on them. Being exposed to violence due to technology, we have observed that
youngsters
 have the tendency to be violent and repulsive, they often get clash with their
parents
 and grandparents and do not respect them. Values
plays
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play
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 a fundamental part in
youngsters
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youngsters'
youngster's
show examples
 life, it is apparently sad that values
is
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are
show examples
Correct your spelling
disappearing
disapearing
Correct your spelling
disappearing
 in our society due to children
are
Wrong verb form
being
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 disconnected
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 prayers. Long ago, it was compulsory that a child would accompany his
parents
 to mass on a weekly basis. Now children do not accompany their
parents
 to
prayers
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prayer
show examples
 sessions. Fashion, technology, society and schools contribute massively
in
Change preposition
to
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 the behaviour of
youngsters
Change noun form
youngsters'
youngster's
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 life. I believe that
ways
Correct article usage
the ways
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 of thinking and attitudes of a young person will differ from
the
Change the article
apply
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one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 of his
parents
 and grandparents.
However
, there should be some coherence and comprehension between the three parties, there should be respect among the beliefs of all three to make things go easier.
Submitted by amandachokupermal on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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