Do you think the retirement age should be raised ??

#retirement #age

People worked hard to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

able to save money for their

retirement

. It is often

agrued

Correct your spelling

argued

agreed

to increase the

age

limit of

employess

Correct your spelling

employees

before they retire.

This

essay will discuss the reason why

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

companies should maintain the current

age

limit for

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

workers. Reaching

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

retirement

age

is a common goal for employees. It means

Remove the comma

apply

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the day has come that waking up early and doing routine

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

is not necessary. After dedicating full energy and time

into

Change preposition

show examples

earning, it is just right to

finally

take

rest

Correct article usage

a rest

show examples

and enjoy the sweet fruits of their

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

This

is only possible if they are still fit and capable of engaging

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show examples

different types of activities.

For example

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

abroad,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

requires a healthy body to endure long

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

, try on different foods and do extreme sports. If the

retirement

age

will be increased, people have the time and money to visit another country but

unable

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are unable

show examples

to use it for relaxation.

In addition

Add an article

the aging

show examples

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

population usually develop

long term

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long-term

show examples

disease like hypertension and

Correct your spelling

diabetes

diabetis

Correct your spelling

diabetes

. Since health is a crucial part of

workers

Change noun form

workers'

worker's

show examples

performance, the productivity of the company will be

graetly

Correct your spelling

greatly

affected due to sick leaves and absences that cannot be avoided.

In addition

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

have frail

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

show examples

and bones that can easily break with a simple slip and accidents that can happen while performing their tasks. The employers will be subject to fund the health expenses that will

furthermore

hurt the company's financial status. To conclude, it is important to keep a

fix

Replace the word

fixed

show examples

retirement

age

to allow

Add an article

the worker

a worker

show examples

worker

Fix the agreement mistake

workers

show examples

to enjoy life while they still can and to save the company from avoidable losses because of employing old workers.

Submitted by September on Wed Aug 31 2022

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Do you think the retirement age should be raised ??

Your opinion

Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of foods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

the best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest in young people. do you agree or disagree ?

Some people believe that traditional teaching methods are more effective than modern digital approaches. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The tendency that news reports in media focus on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful for individuals and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?