Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that
youngster
should have Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
responsibility
to do volunteer Add an article
a responsibility
the responsibility
work
in their leisure time because it brings benefits for both the young and society
. While there are a number of advantages of joining in
campaigns for unpaid Change preposition
apply
community
work
, I partly disagree with this
notion.
On the one hand, it is true that participating in many unpaid society
activities may bring many benefits for both the young and the community
. From the individual perspective, youngster
can develop their soft Add an article
a youngster
the youngster
skills
quickly by learning from their colleagues if they work
in the campaigns. For instance
, when youngster
have
to Change the verb form
has
work
in a team, where
require Correct word choice
which
the
communication skill and Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
Correct your spelling
teamwork
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
work
skill, as much as possible, they can improve and develop those skills
. Additionally
, from the
Correct article usage
apply
society
view, those Change noun form
society's
society
activities can create a high-quality workforce, Replace the word
societal
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
are
the leader of the country, Change the verb form
is
for
the future. Because Change preposition
in
of
those teenagers have been trained when they are very young, Change preposition
apply
so
their soft Correct word choice
apply
skills
and expertise will much
better.
Add a missing verb
be much
On the other hand
, spending time on unpaid community
work
instead
of concentrating on studying can influence the young’s studies results, which is really important for their future. A host of people agree that you need to have some degrees from universities or schools, where
teach you the expertise of your jobsCorrect word choice
which
,
if you want to have a decent job. Forcing teenagers to do unpaid Remove the comma
apply
community
work
reduce
their time to improve their knowledge or participate in many seminars which can open the new world and help them more active in globalization. Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
Moreover
, not anyone like
to do Change the verb form
likes
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
volunteer
environment. Add an article
a volunteer
Commanding
Add an article
The commanding
youngster
, who Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
do
not like to interact with so Change the verb form
does
much
strangers, called introverts, can may Change the quantifier
many
them
get some mental illness and some of them can Correct pronoun usage
apply
injured
themselves as a way to reject Change the verb form
injure
this
.
In conclusion, while doing unpaid society
Replace the word
social
work
can improve teenager’s
soft Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers’
skills
and bring many benefits for
Change preposition
to
community
, I suggest that we can not force everyone to do Add an article
the community
a community
this
because the drawbacks are more outweigh the advantages.Submitted by nguyenthanhloc7918 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite