Some people think that young people should spend free time with families instead of outside entertainment, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Have you reflected on social in
this
generation
day
by day
development faster, that young people
spend time
on things
they feel happiness? Some people
argue that young people
should spend free time
with families
instead
outside entertainment, while
others disagree with that. From my viewpoint, I believe some things
have reasons but this
young generation
they, not too much focus spending free time
with families
.
On the one hand, young people
want to catch up with friends same age. With a beginning alike, social they encourage the younger talent and successful make parent
of us always wants children
successful like other children
. It puts us under pressure and creates a mindset must be successful because want parents
proud. For example
: In Vietnamese families
when a child
studies high school, some people
study well at all majors but some people
are good at some majors. When the daily meeting with a parent
, the teacher shows the parents
a transcript and arranges students, if a point of the child
is lower than other students they feel disappointed and come back home to blame them. This
is a point all parents
want child
success equal or more than friends the same age, it makes young people
feel disconnected from their parents
and feel going outside entertainment getaway pressure and forgotten sharing for families
make relationships away.
Coming up to the next,
different generation
in mindset is the most popular in today. Parents
want to child
follow the old thinking of their grandmother or grandfather, they think it is good and can teach them to become good people
. But young people
hear and think it is not suitable for this
generation
, they want to show off their personalities and learn new things
. Young people
need parents
to understand them and accept what they doing, they know parents
want us to become good people
in society but they can discriminate between good and bad things
.
On the other hand
, parents
feel children
today spend time
with friends more than with families
. They understand our children
want made more money so parents
have a good life when age-old and with child
's families
happiness, but parents
just want a time
to talk together or holiday. Some people
always find a reason to refuse comeback home, it made our emotion away. For example
: When people
old arranges 22-30, they focus more about build career so a time
families
meeting is one or twice a year and forgot a emotion of parent
.
In conclusion, it is vital to admit that in both side views have a private reason. In my pointviews young people
should to spend for families
. I believe we live in this
time
once, parent
have one cannot change so donnot focus on money and forget old parent
increase day
by day
.Submitted by DatHTDS160320 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, with a clearly stated opinion that is consistent throughout. The organization of the essay can be improved by structuring paragraphs around central topics and using clear topic sentences. Transition words should be used effectively to link ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, consider revising sentences that are grammatically incorrect or unclear to aid in coherence.
task achievement
The essay should fully answer all parts of the task, providing a balanced discussion of both viewpoints before giving a clear, relevant opinion. The opinion should be substantiated with pertinent examples and ideas. To improve your score, aim to present ideas that directly respond to the task prompt, offer a balanced discussion, and provide specific examples that support the points made in the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.