Some people think that young people should spend free time with families instead of outside entertainment, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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this
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generation
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day
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by
day
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development faster, that young
people
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spend
time
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on
things
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they feel happiness? Some
people
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argue that young
people
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should spend free
time
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with
families
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instead
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outside entertainment,
while
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others disagree with that. From my viewpoint, I believe some
things
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have reasons but
this
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young
generation
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they, not too much focus spending free
time
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with
families
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. On the one hand, young
people
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want to catch up with friends same age. With a beginning alike, social they encourage the younger talent and successful make
parent
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of us always wants
children
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successful like other
children
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. It puts us under pressure and creates a mindset must be successful because want
parents
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proud.
For example
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: In Vietnamese
families
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when a
child
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studies high school, some
people
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study well at all majors but some
people
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are good at some majors. When the daily meeting with a
parent
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, the teacher shows the
parents
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a transcript and arranges students, if a point of the
child
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is lower than other students they feel disappointed and come back home to blame them.
This
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is a point all
parents
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want
child
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success equal or more than friends the same age, it makes young
people
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feel disconnected from their
parents
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and feel going outside entertainment getaway pressure and forgotten sharing for
families
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make relationships away. Coming up to the
next,
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different
generation
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in mindset is the most popular in today.
Parents
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want to
child
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follow the old thinking of their grandmother or grandfather, they think it is good and can teach them to become good
people
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. But young
people
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hear and think it is not suitable for
this
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generation
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, they want to show off their personalities and learn new
things
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. Young
people
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need
parents
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to understand them and accept what they doing, they know
parents
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want us to become good
people
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in society but they can discriminate between good and bad
things
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.
On the other hand
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,
parents
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feel
children
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today spend
time
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with friends more than with
families
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. They understand our
children
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want made more money so
parents
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have a good life when age-old and with
child
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's
families
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happiness, but
parents
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just want a
time
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to talk together or holiday. Some
people
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always find a reason to refuse comeback home, it made our emotion away.
For example
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: When
people
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old arranges 22-30, they focus more about build career so a
time
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families
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meeting is one or twice a year and forgot a emotion of
parent
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. In conclusion, it is vital to admit that in both side views have a private reason. In my pointviews young
people
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should to spend for
families
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. I believe we live in
this
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time
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once,
parent
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have one cannot change so donnot focus on money and forget old
parent
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increase
day
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by
day
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.
Submitted by DatHTDS160320 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, with a clearly stated opinion that is consistent throughout. The organization of the essay can be improved by structuring paragraphs around central topics and using clear topic sentences. Transition words should be used effectively to link ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, consider revising sentences that are grammatically incorrect or unclear to aid in coherence.
task achievement
The essay should fully answer all parts of the task, providing a balanced discussion of both viewpoints before giving a clear, relevant opinion. The opinion should be substantiated with pertinent examples and ideas. To improve your score, aim to present ideas that directly respond to the task prompt, offer a balanced discussion, and provide specific examples that support the points made in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bond
  • relationship
  • communication
  • experience
  • learn
  • opportunity
  • exposure
  • culture
  • perspective
  • development
  • interest
  • skill
  • socialize
  • peer
  • broaden
  • horizon
  • opinion
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