Although families have influence on a children’s development, factors outside the home play a bigger part in their lives nowadays. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#families #influence #children’s #development #factors #home #part #lives

It is often argued that even though families have a significant impact on the

development

of young people, there are bigger influences apart from their home environment.

This

essay agrees with

this

view and it is my firm belief that a children's

development

is more affected by the school environment and peer interactions.

To begin

with, the experience that students have in school is more

influencial

Correct your spelling

influential

in terms of their

overall

development

This

is simply because they tend to spend the majority of

time

Correct pronoun usage

their time

show examples

during

Correct article usage

the

show examples

day in educational institutions. Guided by a

profesionally

Correct your spelling

professionally

trained teacher, schools provide a room for self-expression and self-discovery, which not every student has access to at home.

For example

, subjects,

such

as music or art, allow the learner to be creative, which is essential for people's cognitive

development

Furthermore

, peer groups and social relationships can be hugely impactful.

This

is to say, social interactions,

such

as communication or the

immitation

Correct your spelling

imitation

of specific observed

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

, are mainly responsible for teaching children and teenagers empathy and kindness.

As a result

, they gain knowledge about how to be a functioning member of society.

For instance

, if they

whitness

Correct your spelling

witness

a friend doing the right thing and

consequently

being

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

rewarded for it, they will

adapt

Correct your spelling

adopt

show examples

this

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

and apply it in the future. In conclusion,

this

essay has shown that factors outside of children's

homes'

Change noun form

homes

show examples

such

the a

Choose an article

the

show examples

nurturing learning atmosphere in school or friendships are more

influencial

Correct your spelling

influential

when it comes to their

development

Submitted by philipp_becker on Sat Aug 24 2024

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spelling

There are minor spelling errors (e.g., 'influencial', 'immitation', 'whitness'). Ensure you proofread your essay to avoid such mistakes which may impact readability even if they don't drastically lower your score.

development

Expand your argumentation in each paragraph. While the main points are clear, offering additional examples or further explanations could enrich your essay and improve your score.

structure

The essay has a clear and structured introduction and conclusion.

relevance

The arguments presented are relevant to the topic and supported by specific examples.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

246 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Proliferation
Media
Technology
Peer influence
Extracurricular activities
Educational institutions
Character building
Social norms
Global community
Cultural exchange
Marketing
Advertising
Preferences
Values
Government policies
Standardized education
Child welfare programs

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Although families have influence on a children’s development, factors outside the home play a bigger part in their lives nowadays. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

In Some Countries young people are encourage to work for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies discuss advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

Many people are choosing to live on their own. Is this a positive or a negative trend?What is your opinion and share your personal experiences? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The garaph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features

young people who commit serious crimes, such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree