IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that school children should be made to wear uniform other feel that children should be free to choose their own clothes. discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #school #children #uniform #clothes
It is true that in
this
 era,Several individuals think that
school
children
 should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
wear a
uniform
,
However
Add the comma(s)
,However
show examples
 other people say that
children
 should wear any type of clothes in
this
school
.
This
 essay will highlight both opinions and
also
 elaborate that are certainly a mastery over the fundamentals of it. To embark with, in
schools
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
 should be compulsory for toddlers.
Firstly
, from
school
 youth learn about
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
 values discipline along with
uniform
 is the
first
 step to learn
atticates
Correct your spelling
activates
.
In addition
, in
schools
 from different religions
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 come there for studies, with the help of
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
uniform
children
 learn all adolescence are equal and
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 easily make friends in their
school
.
Uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
Uniforms
show examples
also
 describe every
school
Change noun form
school's
show examples
 beauty and repetition.
For example
, in America there are many
schools
 which
which
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
are not allow
Change the verb form
do not allow
show examples
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 toddlers and there are some
children
Correct pronoun usage
who belong
show examples
belong
Wrong verb form
belonging
show examples
 to rich families
this
 use
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 bowling with
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
show examples
children
 if they are wearing
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
uniform
 .It a make equality in the
children
.
On the other hand
, in our
nation
Add a comma
,nation
show examples
 There are several
schools
 which are not allowed
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
.
Firstly
, it
is depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on
Correct article usage
the toddlers
show examples
toddlers
Change noun form
toddlers'
toddler's
show examples
age
which
Change preposition
of which
show examples
children
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
show examples
 starting their
school
 from Play
School
 and others.
Additionally
, in these
schools
 from 4 to 8
age
 group of
adolescence
Replace the word
adolescents
show examples
Correct your spelling
does
show examples
dose
Correct your spelling
does
show examples
 not wear
Add an article
a uniform
the uniform
show examples
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
.If
children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
 wear other clothes rather than
Add an article
the uniform
show examples
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
 they go
Change preposition
to
show examples
School
 easy
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 because
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
age
 many of the
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
did not want to go
school
Change preposition
to school
show examples
 along with which parents do
Add an article
the job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 they are
troubling
Replace the word
troubled
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
this
 situation.
For example
, in many
schools
Add a comma
,schools
show examples
children
 wear other clothes rather than
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
once a week.
Furthermore
, in
this
way
Add a comma
,way
show examples
children
 do little bit
fun
Change preposition
of fun
show examples
 and they are very excited to go to
school
. To conclude, after analysing that according to my point of view infant should wear
uniform
Add an article
the uniform
show examples
 who are 10 to above
age
 group.
Moreover
 ,
which
Correct word choice
when
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
 starting their
school
 they should go
freely
Replace the word
free
show examples
 because in
this
 way they learn about colours and different
costume
Fix the agreement mistake
costumes
show examples
.
Submitted by mannkaur762 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sense of unity
  • belonging
  • peer pressure
  • appropriate clothes
  • socioeconomic backgrounds
  • bullying
  • social segregation
  • individuality
  • personal style
  • self-expression
  • inclusive
  • diverse environment
  • real-world scenarios
  • appropriate clothing choices
What to do next:
Look at other essays: