IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic? What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antarctic #visit
Nowadays, there are many tourists who are interested to see new
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 where reaching them is not easy for them
for example
sahara
Change the capitalization
Sahara
show examples
 desert or the antarctic. the
Correct your spelling
adventure
advanture
Correct your spelling
advantage
 can make them happy and they know there are many
Correct your spelling
hazards
hazzards
Correct your spelling
hazards
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
way
 despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 they want to have a different
Correct your spelling
experience
exprience
Correct your spelling
experience
. There are many advantages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 these trips. as we can familiar with
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
 culture and civilization
this
 want to help us that we can close to people who are living in around the
world
,
although
, today we can watch people
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around
world
 through
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tv or others media,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
when we can travel to
these area
Change the determiner
this area
these areas
show examples
 we can find a new
precieve
Correct your spelling
perceive
 of their life and we can learn a lot of things of their life condition
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 instance, nowadays there are many visitors in around the
world
 who are looking forward to seeing ancient objects and they want to know about history and tradition related to any place in the
world
 and for these reasons they tolerate any difficulty in their
way
.
In contrast
, the majority of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 are aware
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many of serious problems on their
way
. in fact, the
hazzard
Correct your spelling
hazard
 is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 important part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
travel, the professional tourists want to collect information about their destination to reduce these risks
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the information about medical service or hygiene or wild animal as well as
somthings
Correct your spelling
something
somethings
some things
 like that. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourists
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
throughout
show examples
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
show examples
 the
world
 want to face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new happened and problems can not be an obstacle in their
way
. not only they
learned
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
 how to solve different problems in their
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
 but
also
 they want to experience
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 and
this
 will give them a
Correct your spelling
sense
sence
Correct your spelling
sense
 of power.
Submitted by mail.100jad on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: